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Thread: Depression in a 10yo

  1. #21
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
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    2,252

    Default Re: Depression in a 10yo

    How is the weather there? If it is a beautiful October day, I say take a Park Day. Get those boys outside. Load up balls of all kinds, skateboards, bikes & trikes, and head to a safe expansive park, preferably with another family. You and they need to refresh. This is both a necessity and privilege with homeschooling: impromptu breaks, especially when Mom is dreaming about being trapped! Go today if you can. Even if it is rainy there, it might be worth a bundle of ponchos.

    Remember, too, dear Jen, that this is probably going to be among the hardest seasons of your life. You have seven children all together in a small space nearly 24/7 with demands that would overwhelm anyone. Pack a lunch or splurge with snacks and go.

    Longterm - consider joining the YMCA. I think we talked about this. I had to do this when mine were 4 and on no medication and full of swinging moods & activity levels AND we lived in an apartment where neighbors smoked & the cigarette smell in the apartment was stifling. My husband was away most of every day. The kids & I were regulars at the YMCA Kids' Gym & pool, and at the nearby park for those 18 months!

    OT or no OT, everybody needs some space. This will be good to plan for the future. For today, just get a refreshing break.

    Praying for all of you -

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Sep 2014
    Location
    Denver Area, CO
    Posts
    1,905

    Default Re: Depression in a 10yo

    Quote Originally Posted by jen1134 View Post
    So now we’ve swung the other way and he’s hyper as all get out. Baby talk, screeching noises just for the heck of it, etc. I’m soooo tired of all the emotional things in this house! I don’t think going to a therapist is going to help either...he hates talking to adults he doesn’t know well and it makes him nervous which makes him more spastic behavior-wise. I don’t think we’re looking at bipolar — we can often find triggers for his behavior which isn’t the case with bipolar. From what I can figure out his triggers are: boredom, anxiety, anticipation, disappointment, and attention-seeking. I can address the anxiety, but can anyone offer ways they’ve handled these triggers with their children? His 12yo brother is also regressing and I’m nearing my wit’s end. I had a dream last night that I was trapped and no one could get me out even though they knew where I was being held. When depression and overwhelm starts coming out in my dreams, I know I’m headed for the end of my rope. And yes, Anita, I’ve been practicing self-care.

    One thing to note is that they haven’t had OT in over a month because we’re still waiting on insurance to review their progress/approve continued treatment. I don’t know if that would cause this.
    1) You made me laugh out loud when I saw my name.
    2) My oldest has the exact same triggers. Have you any reason to suspect ASD? ASD kids NEED a schedule. It doesn’t solve everything. But it helps. A lot.
    3) I totally hear you on insurance. We’ve had the proverbial rug pulled out from under us so so so so many times. A broken record. Ugh.
    4) Self care: have you tried loud music and two glasses of wine?
    Boy Wonder: 10, MP2/SC4 (Special Needs)
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    “Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence.”
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  3. #23
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Charlottesville, VA
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: Depression in a 10yo

    Jen,

    I wish I had some advice but alas I only have prayers and empathy. On Monday we had an incident free day. I was floored because I had forgotten how much easier everything was. I hope you had a Park day or an outlet for some of the energy and a way for you to regroup.

    May the Lord keep you and bless you.

    Heidi
    Heidi

    2018-19
    dd- 3m
    ds- SC 1
    dd- SC B

  4. #24
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    South of the Border
    Posts
    28

    Default Re: Depression in a 10yo

    Hello Jen,

    I am sorry that you are going through this.

    My 9 year-old will be 10 in January, and we are seeing some similar behaviors. The screeching—oh my goodness—that got my attention!

    Thank you for sharing. I hope you’ve had some good insights and rest.

    Blessings~
    expat mama south of the border
    DD MP8
    DS SC 2
    DS2 SC C
    DS3 SC A

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jun 2015
    Location
    Northern Indiana
    Posts
    1,196

    Default Re: Depression in a 10yo

    Thank you everyone for your prayers. We weren’t able to do a park day due to previous commitments (MPOA and OT appt) but he was calm for most of the day working on Legos so I didn’t pursue school. I was thinking about taking them out today after MPOA and before my client meeting but the 3yo woke up with a cold so we’ll have to see if the weather warms up enough.

    We briefly considered ASD as there is a case of it on both sides of our family. A couple of things match but not the major ones. And the things that do match seem to be issues of social nervousness for him rather than unawareness.

    My in-laws said that what we were describing was exactly what one of their other boys did as a child so my husband reached out to his brother to see if he had any insights. He strongly advised giving immediate reward for applying himself so that he knows hard work DOES pay off. He also advised finding another outlet for him (my husband and siblings were pretty isolated growing up due to their parent’s work and work-related family travel). He also said that a younger sibling went through the same thing at this age (my husband and I were married by that time so he hadn’t been aware of it).

    I took another look at the YMCA. Ours is very limited and it didn’t seem to justify the nearly $750/yr price tag. But they just updated their website and I found more info that says that all of the boys are old enough to also use the fitness room/cardio equipment and our oldest can use the weight room. That definitely changes things and my husband and I are seeing if we can make it work.

    We also need to get things for the kids to do in the backyard. We have a soccer ball with a hole in it and multiple bikes in various stages of brokenness because the kids decided to “improve” or “fix” them. That’s it and I don’t have the money to change it. We’re working on a bunch of stuff with our business right now to help with that.

    So that’s where we are and I’m very on edge. I think we’re calling school for the week.
    Jennifer

    2017-2018
    DS-13 & DS-14 (mix of 6M & 8M)
    DS-11 (5M)
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    DD-7 (MP1)
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    DD-3 (Preschool)

    2018-2019
    DS-14 & DS-15 (MP9 Literature, Novare Intro to Physics, Light to the Nations I (CTP), MPOA for: Latin, Algebra I, Ref/Con
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  6. #26
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Charlottesville, VA
    Posts
    240

    Default Re: Depression in a 10yo

    Since Christmas is coming, I thought I’d share what we did last year. One set of grandparents gifted 6 months of the Y to our family for the kids to go swimming. Since we were “paying 1/2 price,” I didn’t feel guilty if we didn’t go one week. We also asked for only outside only “toys.” Since he likes legos, he might like sticklets. https://www.hearthsong.com/p/1568504...SABEgL50vD_BwE.
    Heidi

    2018-19
    dd- 3m
    ds- SC 1
    dd- SC B

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Mar 2016
    Location
    NSW, Australia
    Posts
    165

    Default Re: Depression in a 10yo

    I don’t have any ideas or thoughts to help Jen, but I’m lifting you and your kids up in prayer.
    Sarah

    Aussies from Sydney, Australia
    Miriam 8yo Grade 3
    Jonny 6yo (Special Needs) Review weeks on Level C
    Elissa 3yo SC Level B (for preschool)
    Thomas 8mo

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