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Thank you all for being here

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    Thank you all for being here

    I have not been on the Forum much since January when we (FINALLY!!!) found a place that can test Clara thanks to Colomama. Clara has testing Wednesday through Friday. Wednesday she has to "play" with Mom and Dad while people watch us through a window for 2 hours+ so the therapists can observe how Clara treats her parents. Thursday and Friday are each 3-4 hours of specific testing for whatever the intake therapist thinks might be preventing Clara from excelling at school and life based upon our parent interview last month. I am really nervous, but it will be great to know exactly what is not quite right so we can help Clara more. I would appreciate any prayers. Thank you, again, to Colomama for finding a place for us to do testing, Michelle for her advice about how to help Clara learn reading and for suggesting Simply Classical, and to Cheryl for writing this beautiful curriculum, listening to me cry about how hard it is to have a child with learning disabilities, and encouraging me to persevere and get the testing done. Clara would be back in public school feeling stupid without the 3 of you, and the many other members of this group who have offered so much encouragement along the way.
    JeJe Greer
    Mom to:
    Stella (7M)
    Clara (SC)

    #2
    Re: Thank you all for being here

    Best wishes for the testing days. Testing is nerve-racking and reassuring all at the same time. My middle child has testing on Wednesday too. Y'all will be in my prayers.

    MP/ Simply Classical/ Cheryl/ ladies on the forums sure are wonderful people. We are all so fortunate to have this amazing resource and support.
    Susan

    2018-2019
    A (10) - Barton, R&S math 3, SC 3
    C (9) - Barton, R&S math 2, SC 3
    G (5) - Simply Classical C

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Thank you all for being here

      I am so glad it worked out. I was impressed with the professionalism of the results I received.

      I will say it's a double-edged sword. Finally having some definite answers is great. Knowing it's not you, nor your parenting, that made this happen. But, also it's not you and you can't "fix" this. It's not going away. That's the tough part to swallow.

      I always thought that if I did things differently, was more organized, disciplined better / differently, that this would change. But that's not the case. There's no Easy button for this. That's hard.

      A diagnosis did help guide understanding and compassion. It helped me know when to tweak and adjust and when to draw a hard line. That didn't "fix" the issue, but it has gotten better. And that is a blessing.

      Take time to digest the results. Some might be real eye-openers, like my son's IQ, that really help to understand some struggles. Some might be Heartbreakers, like an my son's depressive thoughts. And some, you might just be unable to firmly grasp, like...where do we go from here with this diagnosis?

      Know that you have the strength to carry on. You've come this far. Know that you might have to get out a big stick to demand services in a rural area. Know that family (and you) might double guess the results. But, know too that she's still your girl and you still love her dearly.

      It was helpful to discuss ahead of time what was going to happen at the appointment. My son wanted to know what the room looked like where they would talk. It's also helpful to explain why you're going. What you hope to learn. We did not tell my son the results. He has not asked. I simply explained that they gave me a list of things that might be helpful to make school and daily life less stressful for both of us.

      You will be in my prayers.
      Married to DH for 14 years. Living the rural life in the Colorado mountains

      DS11- Simply Classical 5/6
      DD9- Simply Classical 5/6 (neurotypical, but schooling with big brother to save mom's sanity)
      DD 6- Classic Core First Grade

      We've completed:
      Classic Core Jr. kindergarten, kindergarten, first grade, and second grade.
      Simply Classical levels B, C, 1, 2, 3, and 4.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Thank you all for being here

        Originally posted by Colomama View Post
        I am so glad it worked out. I was impressed with the professionalism of the results I received.

        I will say it's a double-edged sword. Finally having some definite answers is great. Knowing it's not you, nor your parenting, that made this happen. But, also it's not you and you can't "fix" this. It's not going away. That's the tough part to swallow.

        I always thought that if I did things differently, was more organized, disciplined better / differently, that this would change. But that's not the case. There's no Easy button for this. That's hard.

        A diagnosis did help guide understanding and compassion. It helped me know when to tweak and adjust and when to draw a hard line. That didn't "fix" the issue, but it has gotten better. And that is a blessing.

        Take time to digest the results. Some might be real eye-openers, like my son's IQ, that really help to understand some struggles. Some might be Heartbreakers, like an my son's depressive thoughts. And some, you might just be unable to firmly grasp, like...where do we go from here with this diagnosis?

        Know that you have the strength to carry on. You've come this far. Know that you might have to get out a big stick to demand services in a rural area. Know that family (and you) might double guess the results. But, know too that she's still your girl and you still love her dearly.

        It was helpful to discuss ahead of time what was going to happen at the appointment. My son wanted to know what the room looked like where they would talk. It's also helpful to explain why you're going. What you hope to learn. We did not tell my son the results. He has not asked. I simply explained that they gave me a list of things that might be helpful to make school and daily life less stressful for both of us.

        You will be in my prayers.
        This sounds like such a cool evaluation! My son has been to so many evaluations since the age of 2. I would have loved to have had something like this. Now we are approaching 13 and are considering some behavioral evaluations and I’m hoping for some parental training to help us along this path. I am waiting until May to start as we will have some things drop off from our plate as well as finding out if we will be moving to Kentucky.

        I’m so glad you found a good recommendation. That is worth its weight in Gold! As for the comment by Colomamma, I couldn’t agree more that looking back and wondering if you had mde decisions wouldn’t have changed the fact that this is hard and we are in it for the long haul and all God asks is that we do our best and let Him do the rest.

        Prayers being offered up for you ladies!

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Thank you all for being here

          Originally posted by sfhargett View Post
          Best wishes for the testing days. Testing is nerve-racking and reassuring all at the same time. My middle child has testing on Wednesday too. Y'all will be in my prayers.

          MP/ Simply Classical/ Cheryl/ ladies on the forums sure are wonderful people. We are all so fortunate to have this amazing resource and support.
          Sending up prayers for you, JeJe and Susan as well. Testing IS stressful. I underestimated how much it can take out of you until I had the evaluation meeting for Adam. ON MY BIRTHDAY. I went home, exhausted.

          Give yourself plenty of grace during the actual testing, and then again during the evaluation session. I'd try not to schedule too much that day. And --- allow yourself plenty of time to digest it all.
          Plans for 2019-20

          DD1 - 24 - College Grad and rocking her own bakery business
          DD2 - 13 - 8A Louisville HLS Cottage School and MPOA
          DS3 - 11 - 4A Louisville HLS Cottage School
          DS4 - 11 - 4A Louisville HLS Cottage School
          DD5 - 7 - MP2, Louisville HLS Cottage School
          DS6 - 5 - MP K

          [url]www.thekennedyadventures.com/all-about-our-memoria-press-homeschool[/url]

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Thank you all for being here

            Day 1 is done. We are having Clara tested for some emotional issues, as well as learning disabilities. Clara and her Dad do not get along. They fight constantly, and my parents and doctor have even suggested I leave him to help Clara. Clara and I get along really well. But today was about trying to let the therapist behind a mirror see how we interacted with Clara. I know that we have a great relationship, that is very loving and huggy. I guess this means that I wanted to purposely get her to act like she does at home. She was completely unaware of the mirror being 2-way, and thought we were just waiting for the doctor the whole time. I went first. We played Mr. Potatohead and everyone was happy. We colored and everyone was happy. Then I had to teach her something. I decided to teach her to write her name in cursive (because despite that we have the SC curriculum and should be learning cursive, she absolutely refuses to try), and to draw a cube. This started off OK with her trying. I did not have the curriculum manual, so I demonstrated tracing back over part of the a's in her name so that you do not lift the pencil (and if that was wrong, I did not know and was trying my best). She got mad. She wrote her name in print and said how that was so much easier. So I told her I can write faster in cursive, and so could she. She then discovered that I can write her name in cursive much faster than she can in print, and then tried to write her name in cursive really fast. It was actually quite good, but obviously would not looks as good as Mom's. We then moved on to drawing a cube. She was fine with the square, but she became irate with the angles of the lines that then make the object look three-dimensional. She threw her pencil across the room, and started a 1/3 scale tantrum. I was supposed to get her to talk about something that might annoy her then, and so we discussed not cleaning her room. She went on and on about how the outdoors is her room, her house is not her home, she hates school, she won't learn and doesn't want to, etc. (at least she did not do the part about how she would live on the street rather than have a job, but maybe that would have been better). She tried to leave, pouted, and yelled a lot. We then had to clean up, but there was hardly anything to clean up and that went OK. The doctor brought me out (and was almost giddy with excitement because I do not think anyone else's child ever behaves that poorly). Drew went in and they had a wonderful time, including playing playdough and getting it caught in the table crease and them both laughing about that. I absolutely promise you all that if she did that at home Drew would have an absolute conniption fit! So now I am the bad parent, and he is the good one. Then my non-special needs kid tells me Daddy is more fun. I am hoping that these people tell us to send Clara back to school and that I am the problem. Then at least I could school Stella without much trouble, and would not have the massive stress level I suffer from now. Clara is only part of that, but, my goodness, I could work again since Stella is more than half self-sufficient and then at least we would not have financial worries. Plus Clara would have friends since she would be in school. I am feeling like the worst parent ever right now. Anyway, tomorrow is dyslexia testing, and Clara already had a preliminary diagnosis of dyslexia, so I am hoping that tomorrow will not lead into more parts of why Mommy is the problem. I really thought it was Daddy. I guess it is me. I am going to go walk my dogs again. I hope that testing went better for Susan.
            JeJe Greer
            Mom to:
            Stella (7M)
            Clara (SC)

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Thank you all for being here

              Jeje, thank you for sharing your own window into the testing. Academic and cognitive testing is hard. Emotional/psychological testing can be even harder because of the many personal complexities including our own vulnerabilities as parents.

              You have been concerned about Clara for quite some time, so just keep going to see what they conclude. They will examine interpersonal, relational, or parenting issues, but this is not their primary focus. Rest assured that they really are trying to assess Clara, not you.

              Be open to what they observe, however. They might have some helpful tips for you even if they miss additional tips for your husband.

              One day down. Two to go. Praying this will be helpful and insightful. Most of all, praying that they will accurately, competently, and thoroughly assess your snuggly Clara to give her the best possible care now and for the future.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Thank you all for being here

                Oh Jeje, that sounds so stressful.

                First, I highly doubt your daughter is the worst behaved kid the doctor has ever seen. Goodness, you had to do things that would provoke your daughter on purpose without the supports of home. I am always super self conscious of my kids misbehavior and emotional reactions, but in this situation, her reactions are likely to provide the doctor with useful information. If he/she is a good doctor they will not be looking to place blame. My kids usually think of my husband as more fun because he's not at home with them full time, trying to get them to do what they ought all the time. Husbands also don't always have the full picture of what goes on with their kids because they aren't with them all the time.

                Also many times you will do everything "right" and your (meaning our special needs kiddos) child will still have a difficult time and have large reactions. Try not to see it as a personal fault or responsibility. It is hard not to, I know.

                I hope you got to relax at least a bit before returning for part two. Praying for you.

                And daydreaming or somewhat wishing for an escape from your situation (i.e. semi-hoping to be able to put her in school) is completely normal too! I have times where I wish I could just get rid of all this responsibility of teaching three kids with special needs. We wouldn't be human if we didn't.
                Susan

                2018-2019
                A (10) - Barton, R&S math 3, SC 3
                C (9) - Barton, R&S math 2, SC 3
                G (5) - Simply Classical C

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Thank you all for being here

                  Jen, my husband said these kinds of things are like when you take a car to the mechanic's shop -- and it runs perfectly fine for the first time in months.

                  I thought this might make you laugh -- prayers for you! <3
                  Jennifer
                  Blog: [url]www.seekingdelectare.com[/url]

                  DS16
                  MP: Lit 10, VideoText Algebra
                  MPOA: High School Comp. II
                  HSC: Spanish I, Conceptual Physics, Modern European History, and electives

                  DS15
                  MP: Biology, Lit 10, VideoText Algebra, Greek Tragedies
                  MPOA: High School Comp. II, Fourth Form Latin
                  HSC: Modern European History

                  DS12
                  7M with:
                  Second Form Latin, EGR III, and HSC for US History

                  DS11
                  SC Level 4

                  DD9
                  3A, with First Form Latin (long story!)

                  DD7/8
                  Still in SC Level 2

                  DD 4/5
                  SC Level C

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Thank you all for being here

                    Originally posted by sfhargett View Post
                    Oh Jeje, that sounds so stressful.

                    First, I highly doubt your daughter is the worst behaved kid the doctor has ever seen. Goodness, you had to do things that would provoke your daughter on purpose without the supports of home. I am always super self conscious of my kids misbehavior and emotional reactions, but in this situation, her reactions are likely to provide the doctor with useful information. If he/she is a good doctor they will not be looking to place blame. My kids usually think of my husband as more fun because he's not at home with them full time, trying to get them to do what they ought all the time. Husbands also don't always have the full picture of what goes on with their kids because they aren't with them all the time.

                    Also many times you will do everything "right" and your (meaning our special needs kiddos) child will still have a difficult time and have large reactions. Try not to see it as a personal fault or responsibility. It is hard not to, I know.

                    I hope you got to relax at least a bit before returning for part two. Praying for you.

                    And daydreaming or somewhat wishing for an escape from your situation (i.e. semi-hoping to be able to put her in school) is completely normal too! I have times where I wish I could just get rid of all this responsibility of teaching three kids with special needs. We wouldn't be human if we didn't.
                    Amen to this.
                    Boy Wonder: 10, MP2/SC4 (Special Needs)
                    Joy Bubble: 8, MP2 (Special Needs)
                    Snuggly Cowboy: 6, MPK
                    Sweet Lightness: 2, Reverse-Engineering Specialist

                    “Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence.”
                    ~Pope St John Paul II

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Thank you all for being here

                      Just in case anyone else is having a child going into first time testing for learning/emotional disabilities, I thought I should let you all know about days 2 and 3 of our testing. Clara was brought into a room with just the doctor (who is WONDERFUL!!!!) in order to answer questions and do what sounds like a whole lot of reading, writing, and arithmetic. It was about 3.5 to 3.75 hours each day. Clara was exhausted. We had to wait in the waiting room, and that was tough on Stella (our 11-year old daughter without any special needs issues who is such a huge help for Clara and for me getting a few minutes to leave every now and then), and, quite honestly, on Mom and Dad, too. But overall I think that 3 of us were bored, and 1 of us was asked to read, write, and do math far beyond her abilities. I am very happy that we have done this testing. The doctor told us that she does not believe that she needs to bring Clara back for autism testing, and that is a huge relief. She did indicate that Clara may need to come back for some additional testing, but she thinks it may not be necessary. So now I am having the stupidest worry ever, which is a worry which would actually be a blessing, which is that there is nothing wrong with Clara and I am just such an inadequate teacher of children below grade 3 (I think I have done a fabulous job with Stella, and she went to public school in K-2), that I have damaged Clara myself. Honestly, though, wouldn't that be wonderful compared to what so many of you have to go through? I may just be a terrible teacher. Thank you for letting me feel sorry for my perceived incapabilities here. I really do not think that this is the case, but with Drew constantly telling me to put the kids back in school, and feeling even more vulnerable right now as we wait for results, I am worrying more.

                      I also need to ask you all a question: We can get results April 26 or later. Drew is off of work on Fridays, but April 27 (the first Friday after the possible result date), our doctor is full. She is out of town the next Friday. So we could wait 4 weeks to get results. Or we could wait less than 2 weeks (or even do Monday or Tuesday, April 30 or May 1, but he has to get off work. He has more than 5 months of sick time. Is it very strange that he just did not take the convenient April 26 appointment, and instead asked to wait until May 11 (he is off on Fridays), or is he just being worried about his kid? I am having a really hard time dealing with being told to wait 2 extra weeks when it has taken me so long to get him to allow Clara testing, and we are so close to getting some beginning answers.
                      JeJe Greer
                      Mom to:
                      Stella (7M)
                      Clara (SC)

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Thank you all for being here

                        Originally posted by jejegreer View Post
                        Just in case anyone else is having a child going into first time testing for learning/emotional disabilities, I thought I should let you all know about days 2 and 3 of our testing. Clara was brought into a room with just the doctor (who is WONDERFUL!!!!) in order to answer questions and do what sounds like a whole lot of reading, writing, and arithmetic. It was about 3.5 to 3.75 hours each day. Clara was exhausted. We had to wait in the waiting room, and that was tough on Stella (our 11-year old daughter without any special needs issues who is such a huge help for Clara and for me getting a few minutes to leave every now and then), and, quite honestly, on Mom and Dad, too. But overall I think that 3 of us were bored, and 1 of us was asked to read, write, and do math far beyond her abilities. I am very happy that we have done this testing. The doctor told us that she does not believe that she needs to bring Clara back for autism testing, and that is a huge relief. She did indicate that Clara may need to come back for some additional testing, but she thinks it may not be necessary. So now I am having the stupidest worry ever, which is a worry which would actually be a blessing, which is that there is nothing wrong with Clara and I am just such an inadequate teacher of children below grade 3 (I think I have done a fabulous job with Stella, and she went to public school in K-2), that I have damaged Clara myself. Honestly, though, wouldn't that be wonderful compared to what so many of you have to go through? I may just be a terrible teacher. Thank you for letting me feel sorry for my perceived incapabilities here. I really do not think that this is the case, but with Drew constantly telling me to put the kids back in school, and feeling even more vulnerable right now as we wait for results, I am worrying more.

                        I also need to ask you all a question: We can get results April 26 or later. Drew is off of work on Fridays, but April 27 (the first Friday after the possible result date), our doctor is full. She is out of town the next Friday. So we could wait 4 weeks to get results. Or we could wait less than 2 weeks (or even do Monday or Tuesday, April 30 or May 1, but he has to get off work. He has more than 5 months of sick time. Is it very strange that he just did not take the convenient April 26 appointment, and instead asked to wait until May 11 (he is off on Fridays), or is he just being worried about his kid? I am having a really hard time dealing with being told to wait 2 extra weeks when it has taken me so long to get him to allow Clara testing, and we are so close to getting some beginning answers.
                        Oh Jeje, I haven't seen you with Clara but the fact that Stella is going pretty so well indicates there's something different going on here with Clara. It's hard when you feel like so much of everything with your child rides on your shoulders...and remember that even if Clara doesn't get a diagnosis, it doesn't mean that some kids aren't *way* more challenging than others or struggle academically but don't meet criteria for diagnosis. My 8yo has been harder for me to deal with up until age 7.5, than my kid with ASD.

                        It makes it extra hard when you don't have your husband behind you 100% with this.

                        Saying a prayer for you tonight.
                        Sarah

                        Aussies from Sydney, Australia
                        Miriam 10yo
                        Jonathan 7yo
                        Elissa 4yo
                        Thomas nearly 2yo
                        Baby due 1st July 2020

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Thank you all for being here

                          We get Clara's test results for learning disabilities, ADHD, dyslexia, dysgraphia, autism, and other emotional issues tomorrow. We are all so hopeful that we will at least get a diagnosis and some referrals. If not, well, we were going to have to move away from the high mountains due to Stella having pulmonary hypertension (all cured with a heart surgery), so we may be discovering we are moving and helping Clara tomorrow. And, no, it was never a burden to have to move for pulmonary hypertension, so no, it will not be a burden to move to help our next child. We would do anything for either. Please pray that God gives me the fortitude to listen to the results, that he helps Drew accept any not normal results, and that God leads us to where we need to be to help our precious child. I would really appreciate those kind of prayers, as would my daughters (and my husband if he got a grip on the love of God). I want to put a heart emoji here, because mine is out there any really exposed here lately, but also because it could signify the love we all have for our children in this board.
                          JeJe Greer
                          Mom to:
                          Stella (7M)
                          Clara (SC)

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Thank you all for being here

                            I hope all goes well today Jeje. She's your precious child no matter the results.
                            Susan

                            2018-2019
                            A (10) - Barton, R&S math 3, SC 3
                            C (9) - Barton, R&S math 2, SC 3
                            G (5) - Simply Classical C

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Thank you all for being here

                              Praying for all of you!!
                              Jennifer
                              Blog: [url]www.seekingdelectare.com[/url]

                              DS16
                              MP: Lit 10, VideoText Algebra
                              MPOA: High School Comp. II
                              HSC: Spanish I, Conceptual Physics, Modern European History, and electives

                              DS15
                              MP: Biology, Lit 10, VideoText Algebra, Greek Tragedies
                              MPOA: High School Comp. II, Fourth Form Latin
                              HSC: Modern European History

                              DS12
                              7M with:
                              Second Form Latin, EGR III, and HSC for US History

                              DS11
                              SC Level 4

                              DD9
                              3A, with First Form Latin (long story!)

                              DD7/8
                              Still in SC Level 2

                              DD 4/5
                              SC Level C

                              Comment

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