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Adjusting expectations

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    Adjusting expectations

    I had our academic results meeting today. I'm overwhelmed and underwhelmed. I'm relieved, but disappointed. All at the same time.

    Overwhelmed. It's alot of info to take in from all of the different team members. I'm definitely more visual, so I'm taking the time to read the written report. I've already found some things that I need to clarify. They gave me a graph, but no actual data that shows specific scores depicted on the graph, for example.

    Underwhelmed. They have lots of 'findings', but no recommendations to address issues. When I asked about specific accommodations that they would recommend, I got 'increase sensory activities' as an answer. Oh and 'digital interventions' aka just plug him in to a tablet. The overall feel I got was, "just trust us, we'll know how to help him". Thanks. Been there, done that, not buying it this time.

    Relieved. Alot of their findings validated my concerns. Their results also pretty much echoed the academic results from our California Achievement Test in August. There were definitely no surprises there. Noticeably low math computation and spelling skills. Slightly low language usage and structure in regards to writing. Advanced vocabulary and comprehension.

    Disappointed. I don't know if that's the right word, but it's close. His ability test showed that he's pretty much achieving at his ability level. His IQ is at the 19th percentile. Nobody wants to hear their kid has a low IQ. It sure explains his slow pace of learning, though. It's disappointing because I thought with enough hard work and diligence we could 'catch up'. Not that this is a race. But to hear that this IS his quick pace at learning. Wow. He's giving this 100% and this is as good as can be expected. That sounds awful, I'm sure, but it's the reality of being told that maybe expectatations need to be adjusted. That's disapointing on one hand, but freeing on the other. It's freeing to know that we should expect a markedly slower pace, get off the treadmill.

    He also showed marked difficulty in working memory (8 percentile) and processing speed (5 percentile). This plays into that low IQ score and helps to explain the struggle with math fact retention and recall among other things.

    His overall composite scores on the WISC- V ranged from 75 to 102. His high was visual spatial.

    I know that hes still my little boy. And I still love him dearly. It's sad that he has these struggles. I guess I had been unconsciously operating on the idea that we could 'teach him past it'. That he would outgrow them, per say. But the reality is that expectations need some adjustment. These struggles are real (not just mama intuition) and you don't just grow out of them, you learn coping strategies to deal with them.

    That's a whole different mindset.
    Married to DH for 14 years. Living the rural life in the Colorado mountains

    DS11- Simply Classical 5/6
    DD9- Simply Classical 5/6 (neurotypical, but schooling with big brother to save mom's sanity)
    DD 6- Classic Core First Grade

    We've completed:
    Classic Core Jr. kindergarten, kindergarten, first grade, and second grade.
    Simply Classical levels B, C, 1, 2, 3, and 4.

    #2
    Re: Adjusting expectations

    Yes, yes, yes. All of what you said so well -- exactly how it feels. It hurts, it stuns, it brings disappointment, it makes you feel sad and even a liitle lonely because the burden is yours to understand and accept, but you also feel relief. No more trying to push the monumental boulder up that impossibly steep hill.

    One highlight for me in your news -- you are visual (first part of your post), and his marked strength is visual-spatial. This can be very good news. It not only explains why all of those visual aids you created for Sodalitas work well for both of you, but it also gives you direction toward areas of joy for him. Visual-spatial leisure and future vocational leanings can be encouraged with gusto now. And they are things you can share!

    On a practical note, the lower IQ can help you access services, if you want. In rural mountains, this might look different than in rural Missouri, but here we have Challenger sports that connect kids to more than sports; participants meet others with whom they can be comfortable. No pressure to be more than you are. Just friends or, at the very least, companions.

    Thanks for sharing all of this. You expressed well what many of us have felt -- and still feel.

    A heads up -- at least for me and my children, none of this is "one and done." When my son sees younger children now lifeguarding at the pool where he still swims, he says it is shocking and a little embarrassing; yet he always comes back around to, "I like my life just the way it is." Find what your son loves. Mine moves very slowly, but he loves to light the candles at church every Sunday. If he starts during the Prelude, he has plenty of time. The older people appreciate his reverence; "Michael never rushes."

    With you in this --

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Adjusting expectations

      Whew. I know that’s a LOT to take in. I’m going to pause here and imagine I’m sitting beside you in comforting silence for awhile.

      .....

      Overwhelmed:
      Yes. This is a real struggle. If you weren’t already overwhelmed by all that is being thrown at your head, you might be able to chip away at some bureaucratic, boiler-plate report. As it is, that’s not really a priority (I wonder if it even should be).

      Doctors and specialists — even well-meaning ones — cannot treat every patient as if they were their own child. And, unfortunately, your child is not the only one they will see that day (or week or month). So a lot of compassionate care gets lost in the shuffle of paperwork. It’s not personal (even though it feels that way sometimes). They toss a ream of paper at you to prove they’ve done their due diligence (so they won’t get sued for negligent malpractice). Whether that does much good is debatable. Put the non-essential papers to the side. Tell yourself you’ll look at them in one week. When the date comes, pick them up and see if they’re even useful. If not, chuck, shred or recycle them.

      *Speaking of overwhelmed:*
      Everything might feel 10 times harder for the next while. That’s normal. Clear your calendar of anything non essential. Add back in some fun things. Buy some paper plates and fire up the crock pot or order takeout. Keep everything as simple as possible. Journal your thoughts, emotions, anxieties, and prayers. Now is a time for hibernating a little. Your heart and mind need a bit of time to reflect. If that means hiding for an hour a day to journal or hiking every day to “stomp it out” (or both), do it.

      Underwhelmed:
      Yeah. I hear ya. Read the above, first paragraph. Apply liberally. (Very liberally.) It’s hard not to feel like “a number” when there is no help — even broad, generalized help. The best thing I ever did for my kids was give them a classical Education. Combined with regular Mass, throwing them into sports and teaching them to ride a bike, we have a pretty good therapeutic system going on. I know I’ve mentioned (probably too many times) one specialist who said my oldest needed “an interdisciplinary approach” and a “team of experts” in order to “fix him”. So now, every time we reach a momentous milestone or break through an unprecedented barrier, my husband and I just look at each other smugly and say, “Yeah — Interdisciplinary Approach. Uh-huh, Team of Experts.” (My husband calls our “team of experts” Team Mama.) The truth is, as much as pediatric doctors, therapists and specialists care about your kids, they can never care as much as you do (and if they did, wouldn’t that be a little creepy? “Um, why is Dr Simmons blowing out the candles on Timmy’s birthday cake...?”)

      You cannot be bettered or replaced. That does not mean that you have to do all this alone. It just means it cannot succeed without you. You are priceless to your son and his well being. Take each specialist with charity, openness and a giant grain of salt. They don’t know everything. But don’t overlook the ones who do (there are a few lurking out there).

      Relieved:
      It’s always nice to know you’re not crazy, right?

      Disappointed:
      Yeah... this is where I’m sitting with you in support, sister. This is the hardest one.
      ...

      Your Boy isn’t going to be who you thought. That hurts. As much as you have patience and charity, hope and love, the reality is still painful. So let’s run through a few typical self-talk bullet points, m’kay?

      *This is not your fault.
      *You did not cause this.
      *There was nothing you could have or should have done sooner, differently or better.
      *This is not because you are a bad teacher.
      *This is not because you are a bad mom.
      *You cannot fix this with a magic pill or perfect curriculum.
      *There’s nothing wrong with your boy.
      *He’s not going to end up homeless, washing windshields for loose change.

      But feel your hurt. Please. I know everything in us hates pain and wants to run screaming from it, but get it over with. Seriously. Don’t let it fester and rot for years while you put on a happy-pretend face. That’s a recipe for depression, anxiety, bitterness and poor coping skills. Square up with the hurt, head on, and do some Ugly Crying. You need that. (Whenever I was upset as a child, my grandmother would always pat my knee, hug me and say, “That’s okay, honey. You cry all you want to. And then we’ll have a Coke.” It never failed to make me feel better.)

      On the other side of that pain is resurrection, girl. Like Easter morning and the empty tomb. You’re not really sure what happened, you just know it’s a miracle. And you have more joy — so, so much more joy — when that sorrow has been put to death. Sit in the tomb for awhile to mourn and then come on out in to the sun and praise. One is meaningless without the other.

      Praying for you — and our boys, who were born one day apart <3
      Last edited by Anita; 10-26-2017, 12:02 PM.
      Boy Wonder: 12, Seton and MP Electives (Special Needs)
      Joy Bubble: 10, Seton and MP Electives (Special Needs)
      Snuggly Cowboy: 8, Seton and MP Electives
      The Comedian: 4, Seton/MP Pre-K, though she’ll probably zoom through that in a week.

      “Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence.”
      ~Pope St John Paul II

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Adjusting expectations

        I do not have any advice! I just wanted you to know you are heard! Yes, take some time and absorb it all!
        Christine

        (2019/2020)
        DD1 8/23/09 - SC5/6
        DS2 9/1/11 - SC3,4, 5/6 combo
        DD3 2/9/13 -SC2 to start, MP1 second semester

        Previous Years
        DD 1 (MPK, SC2 (with AAR), SC3, SC4’
        DS2 (SCB, SCC, MPK, SC2)
        DD3 (SCA, SCB, Jr. K workbooks, soaking up from the others, MPK)

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Adjusting expectations

          Originally posted by Colomama View Post
          Noticeably low math computation and spelling skills. Slightly low language usage and structure in regards to writing. Advanced vocabulary and comprehension.

          Good morning! A few thoughts for you after looking at all of this more closely:

          1. The IQ
          With the WISC-V, the working memory and processing affect the overall IQ tremendously. (Previous WISC measures did not weigh these so heavily.) My Michelle, whom you've met, is "borderline intellectually disabled" on the WISC-V, yet like your son, her vocabulary and comprehension are "advanced." She may score shockingly low on those constructs, but she can give you a touching synposis of King Lear. Your son's areas of strength may be science and mechanical abilities. These can form his leisure -- science or construction kits for bday gifts -- with very satisfying outcomes.

          2. Low computation, low spelling, low writing --
          Bump these three subjects to the top of his school day. If you're not yet using SC Spelling and SC Writing, consider these. If you can add the visual-spatial components, such as the card games in SC Spelling, do this. These need to become the priority.

          3. "Dessert"
          He excels in oral vocabulary and comprehension, so you can schedule his Enrichment for later in the day, when he will not need to exert so much effory.

          4. Processing and Working Memory
          You can work on these within chores, schoolwork, getting dressed. Have him race himself to see if his time improves. Add aerobic exercise, improve nutrition, lengthen sleep, and play whatever board games you have -- or even the card game "War" -- to include counting and mental math. One per night before his bedtime would be excellent. All of these are "free" ways to boost brain health.

          5. Keep taking your own breaks. As you already know, your husband can manage while you refresh.

          Let us know if you need a sounding board for any other thoughts.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Adjusting expectations

            It's Monday and it's already a doozy of a week over here.

            It was recommended my boy be assessed for being on the Spectrum. Not totally shocking, but again, not in our original cards. I had been operating on 'he's just a slower learner' mentality. After his IEP assessment, as discussed in the above post, that mentality needs adjustment. Now we add this on top.

            The amazingly good news is I spent the last week locating an in-network assessment provider that didn't have a 12 month waitlist. Found one and scored an in-take interview this morning. They agreed that he shows several of the signs of Autism and should be further evaluated. I should hear back in 10 days on which specific learning disability assessments they recommend in addition to Autism.

            But, also had a hernia surgery follow-up and it didn't go so well. It was determined the surgery was unsuccessful and will need to be repeated. Had an ultrasound and they can't even locate the mesh patch that was supposedly used to repair the hernia. Apparently it's cruising around in my abdomen somewhere. Joy. In order to locate it they have recommended laproscopic surgery through my side. It would involve three incisions and require they penetrate my abdominal cavity. Ugh.

            Prayers for discernment and healing would be appreciated.
            Married to DH for 14 years. Living the rural life in the Colorado mountains

            DS11- Simply Classical 5/6
            DD9- Simply Classical 5/6 (neurotypical, but schooling with big brother to save mom's sanity)
            DD 6- Classic Core First Grade

            We've completed:
            Classic Core Jr. kindergarten, kindergarten, first grade, and second grade.
            Simply Classical levels B, C, 1, 2, 3, and 4.

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Adjusting expectations

              I am so sorry to hear this!! Prayers offered up over here!
              Christine

              (2019/2020)
              DD1 8/23/09 - SC5/6
              DS2 9/1/11 - SC3,4, 5/6 combo
              DD3 2/9/13 -SC2 to start, MP1 second semester

              Previous Years
              DD 1 (MPK, SC2 (with AAR), SC3, SC4’
              DS2 (SCB, SCC, MPK, SC2)
              DD3 (SCA, SCB, Jr. K workbooks, soaking up from the others, MPK)

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Adjusting expectations

                Originally posted by Colomama View Post
                The amazingly good news is I spent the last week locating an in-network assessment provider that didn't have a 12 month waitlist. Found one and scored an in-take interview this morning. They agreed that he shows several of the signs of Autism and should be further evaluated. I should hear back in 10 days on which specific learning disability assessments they recommend in addition to Autism.
                That IS good news! Not easy to find in the rural mountains of Colorado, but you did it. Keep us posted on this.


                Originally posted by Colomama View Post
                It was recommended my boy be assessed for being on the Spectrum. Not totally shocking, but again, not in our original cards. I had been operating on 'he's just a slower learner' mentality. After his IEP assessment, as discussed in the above post, that mentality needs adjustment. Now we add this on top.
                It is shocking, isn't it? "Autism" is so much different than "struggling reader" or "schooling doesn't come easily, so we make adjustments." Autism. The very word stops a person in her tracks.


                Originally posted by Colomama View Post
                It's Monday and it's already a doozy of a week over here.

                ... also had a hernia surgery follow-up and it didn't go so well. It was determined the surgery was unsuccessful and will need to be repeated. Had an ultrasound and they can't even locate the mesh patch that was supposedly used to repair the hernia. Apparently it's cruising around in my abdomen somewhere. Joy. In order to locate it they have recommended laproscopic surgery through my side. It would involve three incisions and require they penetrate my abdominal cavity. Ugh.

                Prayers for discernment and healing would be appreciated.
                At least from here, you win the prize for the dooziest of Mondays. (Although I'm not sure we want to begin comparing.)

                Do you have any financial recourse with the repeat surgery?

                Regardless, you're tough as nails, Colomama. You are grit, determination, and funny in spite of everything! Above all, you know where your strength really lies. So yes, praying to Him for your discernment, healing, and peace.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Adjusting expectations

                  Colmama, I was were you are with my son last spring. He has been tested, and we were told ADHD, low processing speed, low working memory, he's doing what he can. It just didn't sit well. It was correct but incomplete. So I took him to someone else specifically for Autism eval last spring. It was hard to admit that it might be, it was hard to hear that it was. Like Cheryl says, at the end, you still go home with the same child, you still love him.

                  Since it's been about 10 months, I wanted to share how I feel about it now. Relieved. I'm so glad to know what I'm dealing with instead of guessing. It's so nice to now why things happen, not because I'm a bad mom, he's crazy, we can't manage, he won't learn. He's different, he always will be. Many things are harder for him and always will be. I'm more patient with him. I worry less if he forgot what I taught him yesterday or that we've been doing division for over a year, and I celebrate more what he can do. He talks to the kids on his soccer team this year. He has a friend at co-op. We adjust for sensory; I don't take him grocery shopping.

                  Anyway, it is still hard to know that's there, but I'm more encouraged now that he will find a way to make it in the world. It just might not be what I thought it would be.

                  Also, prays for your healing!
                  Michelle in Central Tx
                  DS 12 (4A modified), Ds 9 (4M), DS 5 (K)

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Adjusting expectations

                    Originally posted by cherylswope View Post
                    That IS good news! Not easy to find in the rural mountains of Colorado, but you did it. Keep us posted on this.

                    It is shocking, isn't it? "Autism" is so much different than "struggling reader" or "schooling doesn't come easily, so we make adjustments." Autism. The very word stops a person in her tracks.

                    At least from here, you win the prize for the dooziest of Mondays. (Although I'm not sure we want to begin comparing.)
                    Regardless, you're tough as nails, Colomama. You are grit, determination, and funny in spite of everything! Above all, you know where your strength really lies. So yes, praying to Him for your discernment, healing, and peace.
                    Grit. Humor. Strength. Yes. Nailed it.

                    Love you, Michelle. You’re such a great mom. Love that boy and lay the rest on the altar. One day at a time. (Big hug, Fist bump)
                    Boy Wonder: 12, Seton and MP Electives (Special Needs)
                    Joy Bubble: 10, Seton and MP Electives (Special Needs)
                    Snuggly Cowboy: 8, Seton and MP Electives
                    The Comedian: 4, Seton/MP Pre-K, though she’ll probably zoom through that in a week.

                    “Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence.”
                    ~Pope St John Paul II

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Adjusting expectations

                      Mymommy1, so glad to hear this. Just the soul balm I needed to hear. It's encouraging that others have found their way. That's why I totally love this forum...we link arms and walk TOGETHER on this difficult path.
                      Married to DH for 14 years. Living the rural life in the Colorado mountains

                      DS11- Simply Classical 5/6
                      DD9- Simply Classical 5/6 (neurotypical, but schooling with big brother to save mom's sanity)
                      DD 6- Classic Core First Grade

                      We've completed:
                      Classic Core Jr. kindergarten, kindergarten, first grade, and second grade.
                      Simply Classical levels B, C, 1, 2, 3, and 4.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Adjusting expectations

                        Hello dear Michelle, my friend from Colorado.

                        So I've been mulling over what you've been facing the past many, many days and have had a hard time carving out time to log on and actually post something here. But I want you to know I've been thinking about you a lot. And, now today, even more so. I assure you of my heartfelt prayers, love and hugs from a distance.

                        Michelle, it appears you are in/entering a valley. I have spoken often of my "valley days" that happened not long after moving to VA due to stress with my husband's job, stress in our marriage, stress with extended family, stress living 3,000 miles away from our support system, stress in finding out our older son has a very severe, life-threatening illness, and stress in trying to educate my 'more developmentally challenged' younger son. It was more than I felt any human could handle at one time. Yet we were called to that. And then my father-in-law took a downturn and passed away, 3,000 miles away.

                        We entered another valley this summer. I didn't let on at Sodalitas. But we were in the depths. And it lasted several months to the point of crisis. And then my older son started the MPOA high school diploma program and that very week we found out his life-threatening illness was not behind us. That it was much worse than what we knew or imagined. AND, on top of that, we were faced with a spiritual crisis of knowing we needed to step away from our church for the sake of the health and well-being of our family.

                        Michelle, I didn't sleep for about 8 weeks the past many months. I've been holding on by a thread. But HE (yes, HE!) was there. Today, months later, we see some of the light one might see trying to hike out of the valley. This past Sunday, our new priest, at the end of Liturgy, quietly approached us and handed us a 'gift.' It was the very thing we needed. An image of Christ the Good Shepherd. I want to share it with you. I want to ask you to behold the truth to be found here. That he is our Good Shepherd, leading us when we can't lead ourselves, carrying us when we can't carry ourselves.

                        Behold, my beautiful friend. And cling with all your might to Him. To truth. To faith. To prayer. And be assured of our love and prayers.

                        Hugs,
                        SusanP in Va

                        p.s. I'll pst separately with some practical thoughts. But for now I just wanted to leave you with this, in hopes an image would encourage.
                        Attached Files
                        Last edited by SPearson; 11-08-2017, 04:50 PM.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Adjusting expectations

                          Originally posted by Colomama View Post
                          It's Monday and it's already a doozy of a week over here.

                          It was recommended my boy be assessed for being on the Spectrum. Not totally shocking, but again, not in our original cards. I had been operating on 'he's just a slower learner' mentality. After his IEP assessment, as discussed in the above post, that mentality needs adjustment. Now we add this on top.

                          The amazingly good news is I spent the last week locating an in-network assessment provider that didn't have a 12 month waitlist. Found one and scored an in-take interview this morning. They agreed that he shows several of the signs of Autism and should be further evaluated. I should hear back in 10 days on which specific learning disability assessments they recommend in addition to Autism.

                          But, also had a hernia surgery follow-up and it didn't go so well. It was determined the surgery was unsuccessful and will need to be repeated. Had an ultrasound and they can't even locate the mesh patch that was supposedly used to repair the hernia. Apparently it's cruising around in my abdomen somewhere. Joy. In order to locate it they have recommended laproscopic surgery through my side. It would involve three incisions and require they penetrate my abdominal cavity. Ugh.

                          Prayers for discernment and healing would be appreciated.

                          Update on any of this?

                          At one point you requested help with strategies relating to autism, and we deferred to a later date to let everything "sink in."

                          A month later, how are things going for him? For you?

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Adjusting expectations

                            We're plodding along. Like SusanP said, this is definitely a valley. And honestly, I'm tired of hiking in the shadows. I'm ready for a glimpse of the view. Valleys suck.

                            Today was very very hard. He insisted he could do math, but then was disruptive because he needed my help RIGHT NOW to figure out what to do. And we're repeating grade 2 math from last year.

                            Since mid October he has completed 7 math lessons. 7! We are on week 4 of SC1 spelling and he scored a 75% on this weeks test. He missed 'was' and 'Oh!'. He loves cursive and is on 'L' in Cursive 2. For writing we've made it to Paul Revere, Boston Patriot. He copied the story beautifully and without complaint earlier in the week. I haven't seen him give anything that much attention before. He's doing classic core grade 2 lit and doing the majority of the workbook. He's completed the third chapter of Sarah Noble, but I can tell he's pretty much at his limit.

                            We had cub scouts this evening. I'm his Webelo den leader. The other leader in charge of the five younger level scouts (we all meet at the same time because our pack is so small) texted 15 minutes before the meeting start time to say he couldn't make it. So, on the fly I had 5 kids to entertain / teach for an hour an a half. It's like having an entire pack of my son's. We've had three consecutive meetings of poor behavior from everyone. So, I started the meeting with a discussion of very clear consequences for disrespect or misbehavior. The first one to sit out? My son. He didn't even make it past the opening activity. He was furious he didn't win the kangaroo hop race. On his way to sitting quietly, he attacked his sister and popped her balloon. For that, I sent him home. (The agreed upon consequence for two misbehaviors). We live right across the street from church. He stomped, kicked, and cursed the whole way out of the building. He fell in the snow on the way home and lost it even more. His dad came home and sent him right back to scouts. Within 20 minutes he had kicked a boy in the face. I think it was accidental, they were wrestling over tape (more misbehavior). Either way, tears and more chaos ensued. I sent one other boy to the quiet zone during the meeting and he was so angry he refused to participate afterwards. I cut the meeting 40 minutes short and sent everyone home.

                            I'm just done. Done with aggression. Done with disrespect. Done with avoiding schoolwork. Done.

                            And in the middle of this my two girls get lost. My younger pleads to do school, "Mommy if he won't listen, do you have time to do my school?" The 7 year old has been channeling her inner 3 year old for a month now; baby talk, crying tantrums, refusing to dress herself. All of these are clear signs that they're feeling the chaos. So who do you give the attention to? The older one that desperately needs to get some school progress made, but pushes back and avoids / hides during school? Is that just feeding his aggression and misbehavior? Or do I ignore his nonsense and give attention to the girls, who are clearly feeling neglected?

                            I haven't scheduled his autism assessment. With another surgery looming in the near future, its hard to justify spending the money on a piece of paper from the doctor. A diagnosis wont change anything. There's no services available for him here.

                            On another note, a local mom pulled me aside and recommended I have my son tested for Irlen Syndrome. Anyone heard of it? It seems to encompass a lot of his symptoms, but it might just be another rabbit trail in the chaos.

                            I plan on doing the hernia repeat surgery in mid-January. A further complication has arose. The internal stitches have broken loose and are now trying to exit out my navel. Yeah, seriously. The surgeon said I may not make it to mid-January, the stitches may actually break through my skin and require emergency removal. The thought makes my skin crawl.

                            Did I mention valleys suck?
                            Married to DH for 14 years. Living the rural life in the Colorado mountains

                            DS11- Simply Classical 5/6
                            DD9- Simply Classical 5/6 (neurotypical, but schooling with big brother to save mom's sanity)
                            DD 6- Classic Core First Grade

                            We've completed:
                            Classic Core Jr. kindergarten, kindergarten, first grade, and second grade.
                            Simply Classical levels B, C, 1, 2, 3, and 4.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Adjusting expectations

                              Originally posted by Colomama View Post
                              It's Monday and it's already a doozy of a week over here.

                              It was recommended my boy be assessed for being on the Spectrum. Not totally shocking, but again, not in our original cards. I had been operating on 'he's just a slower learner' mentality. After his IEP assessment, as discussed in the above post, that mentality needs adjustment. Now we add this on top.

                              The amazingly good news is I spent the last week locating an in-network assessment provider that didn't have a 12 month waitlist. Found one and scored an in-take interview this morning. They agreed that he shows several of the signs of Autism and should be further evaluated. I should hear back in 10 days on which specific learning disability assessments they recommend in addition to Autism.

                              But, also had a hernia surgery follow-up and it didn't go so well. It was determined the surgery was unsuccessful and will need to be repeated. Had an ultrasound and they can't even locate the mesh patch that was supposedly used to repair the hernia. Apparently it's cruising around in my abdomen somewhere. Joy. In order to locate it they have recommended laproscopic surgery through my side. It would involve three incisions and require they penetrate my abdominal cavity. Ugh.

                              Prayers for discernment and healing would be appreciated.
                              I have not been on the forum much and did not read this until now. Could you let me know who you went to for the assessment? We have visited with 2 psychologists so far, but neither specializes in learning. One does specialize in Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and I was very happy to hear that she has absolutely no concern that Clara has it at all.

                              Also, for sensory issues, we got this really cool thing called a Therapressure Brush. One of Clara's friends was able to almost completely get rid of some of her strong sensory issues (like she could not wear socks - and you know how cold it is in the Colorado Mountains!) by using one. We only got it yesterday, but Clara is in love with this brush and asks to have it rubbed on her arms and legs all the time. I am really hoping that she will be able to wear socks soon, too! Here is a link to it. They sell it on Amazon, and at a number of other places, as well. https://specialsupplies.com/wilbarge...SABEgKqLvD_BwE
                              JeJe Greer
                              Mom to:
                              Stella (8M with 9th grade literature, writing, and Henle Latin)
                              Clara (Combination of SC 5/6 and 4th New User)

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