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SC 2 or SC 3

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    SC 2 or SC 3

    I am so sorry to bother you all again. We have just about finished SC1, and I had SC2 ready to go for next year. Clara has already read the Little Bear books, plus Blueberries for Sal and Caps for Sale, so I thought I would try to get a handle on where she is for reading. Well, I just gave Billy and Blaze to Clara and she read it with no problem. She cannot stop talking about it. Anyway, should we be moving directly to SC3 (that would be just like me to need to do so since I bought all of SC2, including the read-alouds) or should I give her the rest of the SC2 books to see if she can already read them in order to decide? I do not understand my own child.
    JeJe Greer
    Mom to:
    Stella (6M in 2018-2019)
    Clara (SC3 in 2018-2019)

    #2
    Re: SC 2 or SC 3

    Originally posted by jejegreer View Post
    I am so sorry to bother you all again. We have just about finished SC1, and I had SC2 ready to go for next year. Clara has already read the Little Bear books, plus Blueberries for Sal and Caps for Sale, so I thought I would try to get a handle on where she is for reading. Well, I just gave Billy and Blaze to Clara and she read it with no problem. She cannot stop talking about it. Anyway, should we be moving directly to SC3 (that would be just like me to need to do so since I bought all of SC2, including the read-alouds) or should I give her the rest of the SC2 books to see if she can already read them in order to decide? I do not understand my own child.
    Hi, Jeje.

    Remind us of her age?

    Remember that she will not be merely reading books, because she will also learn to study a book, illustrate a scene, answer comprehension questions, and learn composition skills by answering those questions! You might see how she does with the first written lesson of Billy and Blaze in SC StoryTime Treasures.

    Then report back.

    Comment


      #3
      Re: SC 2 or SC 3

      Originally posted by cherylswope View Post
      Hi, Jeje.

      Remind us of her age?

      Remember that she will not be merely reading books, because she will also learn to study a book, illustrate a scene, answer comprehension questions, and learn composition skills by answering those questions! You might see how she does with the first written lesson of Billy and Blaze in SC StoryTime Treasures.

      Then report back.
      Clara is 8, and will be 9 on September 12. In Colorado (where we live) she could be in 4th grade. Almost everywhere else she should be in 3rd.

      I will do the StoryTime Treasures lesson for Billy and Blaze this week. I will let you know about comprehension. I do know that she talked about the book and the capture of the dog quite a bit tonight, so she at least got that part.

      I have to be completely honest about something, but I did not realize that illustrating the story was important. For the copybook this year I did not make Clara illustrate anything. She gets upset that her pictures do not look real, plus her normally extremely tolerant older sister makes fun of the pictures Clara draws. Is this illustration something that she needs to be doing?

      Clara has no composition skills. She has trouble even narrating to me to write things for Nature Journal.

      I really want her to be at the level of other average kids. I did not push through SC1 so that she would not get frustrated, as suggested here, but skipping a year of SC would be so great to get her into a 3rd grade level curriculum. It seems like SC2 just repeats SC1 in more detail, and that the next level of reading with FSR E starts in SC3, so I am so hoping we can move on to it. We will do SC3 lite and skip Latin. We are trying Greek for Stella next year anyway, and I think Clara will be really good at it if I let her listen in since she does so well with math and symbols and reasoning. She might not even notice it is reading(?).

      I love my daughter so much and do not want to see her be so far behind. All of her friends are 4th through 6th graders (Stella's friends), but they all genuinely like Clara and even invite her to things like birthday parties and play dates. Other siblings her age are not invited. I think that reading is her only academic problem other than the potential ODD situation (still trying to get in with a psychiatrist for this).

      I cannot thank you enough for your help with this, Cheryl, and other forum members.
      JeJe Greer
      Mom to:
      Stella (6M in 2018-2019)
      Clara (SC3 in 2018-2019)

      Comment


        #4
        Re: SC 2 or SC 3

        Originally posted by jejegreer View Post
        Clara is 8, and will be 9 on September 12. In Colorado (where we live) she could be in 4th grade. Almost everywhere else she should be in 3rd.

        I will do the StoryTime Treasures lesson for Billy and Blaze this week. I will let you know about comprehension. I do know that she talked about the book and the capture of the dog quite a bit tonight, so she at least got that part.

        I have to be completely honest about something, but I did not realize that illustrating the story was important. For the copybook this year I did not make Clara illustrate anything. She gets upset that her pictures do not look real, plus her normally extremely tolerant older sister makes fun of the pictures Clara draws. Is this illustration something that she needs to be doing? How is her writing? Does she have any fine motor delays? My oldest has a very difficult time with drawing and coloring and it is something I am now making him do (I didn't until this past year and I regret that). He has trouble taking something he sees and putting it on to paper. I often use a draw write now book that shows the steps of making a particular drawing. If nothing else, doing these will build the skills of observation and persistence.

        Clara has no composition skills. She has trouble even narrating to me to write things for Nature Journal. This makes me think SC 2 would be where you want her to be. SC 2 Writing would help her with this -- coming up with her own sentences in particular.

        I really want her to be at the level of other average kids. I did not push through SC1 so that she would not get frustrated, as suggested here, but skipping a year of SC would be so great to get her into a 3rd grade level curriculum. It seems like SC2 just repeats SC1 in more detail, and that the next level of reading with FSR E starts in SC3, so I am so hoping we can move on to it. We will do SC3 lite and skip Latin. We are trying Greek for Stella next year anyway, and I think Clara will be really good at it if I let her listen in since she does so well with math and symbols and reasoning. She might not even notice it is reading(?). Oh I get this! It is so hard to have our kids be behind. Every year I waver in my decision to keep at a slow and steady pace and want to push them beyond where they are. I have to reel myself back in. It is especially tough when they are genuinely bright kids. But, it does no good to push them ahead of what they are capable of and of pushing them forward when they have not mastered foundational skills.

        Mentioning her difficulty with drawing and narration are red flags for me that indicate she may really need to be in SC 2. You could always speed up if it seems easy.



        I love my daughter so much and do not want to see her be so far behind. All of her friends are 4th through 6th graders (Stella's friends), but they all genuinely like Clara and even invite her to things like birthday parties and play dates. Other siblings her age are not invited. I think that reading is her only academic problem other than the potential ODD situation (still trying to get in with a psychiatrist for this).

        I cannot thank you enough for your help with this, Cheryl, and other forum members.

        I completely understand your difficulty. I made some comments in blue.
        Susan

        2018-2019
        A (10) - Barton, R&S math 3, SC 3
        C (9) - Barton, R&S math 2, SC 3
        G (5) - Simply Classical C

        Comment


          #5
          Re: SC 2 or SC 3

          Agreeing with Susan --

          I think you will see great gains this year with SC 2 in composition, reading, and listening. You can teach at double-pace to get to SC 3, if needed, but skipping might not be wise.

          You might consider this for a semester:
          Teach SC 2 Mon/Tues Week 1 on your Day One, Wed/Thurs Week 1 on your Day Two, omit Friday's Review & Delve Deeply lesson.

          Then teach Mon/Tues Week 2 on your Day Three, Wed/Thurs Week 2 on your Day Four, and then teach from Week 1 & 2 Fridays on your Friday. Voila -- accelerated SC 2. Because of her age and intelligence, and because of your own determination, this really could work.


          A Note about Writing --
          I agree with Susan. Red flag. If you skipped to SC 3 for reading, you would need to do some super-intensive remediation in writing. This can be hard with an ODD-type student. The jump directly to SC 3 Writing (Book Two) would be quite a leap. For daily writing practice, confidence, and skill-building to mastery, SC 2 Writing (Book One) really cannot be missed.


          Regarding Illustrations --
          These assist comprehension, fine-motor competence, and imagination. If she prefers tracing due to perfectionism, you could purchase tracing paper. Then she could trace her favorite scene until her confidence in drawing grows stronger.

          We liked DWN books too. When you come to SC 3, perhaps just in one accelerated semester (!!) of SC 2, you could add the United States DWN. Drawing is one if those life-long abilities to encourage early, if you can.


          I know it is hard. The year my son needed to repeat an entire grade in math -- when he was already behind due to ODD, ADHD, and learning issues -- broke my heart and terrified me. As mentioned in SC, I warned the tester, feeling ashamed, "This year his math scores will be really low." They were higher than ever.


          You have done well to help her read as well as she does, but writing must come along with that reading. She is complex, so we understand. Decisions are not easy!

          Comment


            #6
            Re: SC 2 or SC 3

            My daughter is not particularly fond of the drawing either, but we persist and she is getting better! Her 5 year old brother draws at about the same level as her. (she is almost 8, he is almost 6) I bought the Draw Write Now books when my daughter was 5. (I did this because people said they were using them with their 5 year olds!!). It did not work, whatsoever. So, I sold them. I have now re-purchased them and my nearly 8 year old daughter pulled them out and has been enjoying them. (Last summer I tried some of the "How to draw" books and it was still too much and she tried to follow the directions and really could not. It is amazing what a difference a year makes). As it turns out, 5 year olds CAN do the Draw Write Now books, as my son has been enjoying them as well. In addition, I have Art 2 from Seton (has a "How to Draw Saints and Biblical figures) and many of the "How to Draw Books". I recently acquired the "How to Draw Biblical Figures" in anticipation of the Bible Writings. I am also looking forward to using the US one from Draw Write Now.

            I do agree that the writing, in particular in SC2 will be important. I would suggest the Bible one, only because it is "slightly" harder than the Read Aloud one. In the beginning of the year my daughter refused to make her own sentence (required under the drawing). Instead she would find one in the Bible book to copy. Cheryl suggested around week 17 to transition to her writing her own, but it was more like 23-34ish weeks before she could really do it. Now, it is coming easily and beautifully. One writing book can easily be done in two days. I bet with her higher reading level now, that keeping up with the Bible readings (that she should/could do) on her own will also help those reading skills. You can still enjoy the read aloud from SC2, but in the accelerated fashion you might not get to all the enrichment activities, which will be fine! I'm learning that it is ok if the "reading" is actually a little lower than their current level because it really solidifies their skills. Also, as Cheryl mentions the guides make them go slowly and deeply through a book, which is possibly a new skills, so if the actual "reading" is easy, it's ok, because other skills are being acquired.

            SC3 is really quite a big jump from SC2. It's seems pretty "grown up" and if she is doing it next year as a 4th/5th grader it is still right on the money!
            Christine

            (2019/2020)
            DD1 8/23/09 - SC5/6
            DS2 9/1/11 - SC3,4, 5/6 combo
            DD3 2/9/13 -SC2 to start, MP1 second semester

            Previous Years
            DD 1 (MPK, SC2 (with AAR), SC3, SC4’
            DS2 (SCB, SCC, MPK, SC2)
            DD3 (SCA, SCB, Jr. K workbooks, soaking up from the others, MPK)

            Comment


              #7
              Re: SC 2 or SC 3

              I had to deal with a similar decision last year. My fourth son has an October birthday so in our state he was not required to start school until the year he turned 7 (2015). I tried earlier but he wasn't ready and I was worn out by other things so we waited. We started in 2015-2016. He was 6/7 that year and learning to read. After 10 months (a non-MP program), he was still sounding out every single word. I knew he wasn't ready to move on but I had a hard time with the idea that he would be doing MPK at 8 years old. I spoke to my sister -- a certified teacher -- and she said that she wished she had the option of holding children back when needed. She has to send children on when she knows they aren't ready and she hates it. So we moved forward with MPK and he is doing great. I looked at MP1 yesterday and I know that he can do it and that it has just the right amount of challenge for him. We may have to adjust some pacing, but he can do it. That is a great feeling!

              Clara is similar to one of my other children behaviorally and I can tell you unequivocally that the key to smooth days is not jumping the gun in anything. They may want to feel grown up but if you give them even slightly more than they're truly ready for, they will shut down and you will be starting from scratch -- again.

              Slow and steady is the key here. MP's books don't have numbers on them for this very reason and SC's have "Levels" -- she doesn't need to be told that Level 2 is for such-n-such an age. Level 2 is HER level because it's what she needs. My older kids did English Grammar Recitation I at ages 11 and 12 -- it's meant to start at 8 years old -- but it didn't matter. They needed it, it was the beginning of the sequence and it did wonders for them. Their core will be split between MP 6, 7 and 8 for next year. And it's just right.
              Jennifer
              Blog: [url]www.seekingdelectare.com[/url]

              2019-2020 Plans:

              DS16
              MP10 Lit, MP-Holt Biology, Light to the Nations II, Spanish
              MPOA: Algebra I, High School Comp II

              DS15
              As above, plus:
              MP Greek Tragedies; no Spanish
              MPOA: Fourth Form Latin

              DS12: 7M subbing Sea to Shining Sea for American history

              DS11: Simply Classical Level 4

              DD9: 3A, with First Form Latin (long story!)

              DD7/8: Simply Classical Level 3

              DD 4/5: Simply Classical Level C (NT using SC for two-year PreK due to January birthday)

              Comment


                #8
                Re: SC 2 or SC 3

                Originally posted by jen1134 View Post
                I spoke to my sister -- a certified teacher -- and she said that she wished she had the option of holding children back when needed. She has to send children on when she knows they aren't ready and she hates it.
                Such a good point! A child can be sitting in a classroom at a desk filled with "4th-grade" books and feel miserable, because he cannot read or write well. He only falls further behind each week, each semester, each year.

                We know of such a situation here in which the child was eventually pushed forward to college. He still could not read or write well. In college his mom wrote his papers for him, so he could pass his classes!

                How much better to tackle these things now, and allow the student to enjoy his own achievements.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: SC 2 or SC 3

                  I wanted to chime back in and say that my goal for the first semester is to go through SC 2 with my older two. I'm typing up my own lesson plans subject by subject because I'm insane like that. But I plan on doing week 1 Monday and Tuesday on day one, week 1 Wednesday and Thursday on day two, week 2 Monday and Tuesday on day three, week 2 Wednesday and Thursday on day four just like Cheryl said above. At this pace we can finish in 17 weeks. I'll be doing this for all subjects except for spelling -- I'm going to try to do two weeks of spelling in one week, but combine the lessons, so weeks 1 and 2 words for Memorize Monday, weeks 1 and 2 words for the Tuesday task (I'm blanking right now), etc. I figure the worst that can happen is that we have to slow down.

                  For reading, we are using AAR (my oldest has significant dyslexia), but I also plan on using SC Storytime Treasures. This we will not accelerate. I'm considering adding in a reading fluency period in the afternoons/evenings and using the Moose Moments/At the Farm for those times. These books may be "too easy" for them. My oldest hates them. But they both need major work on fluency, so . . . they don't have to enjoy everything. I was trying to have him read those at bedtime, which was a "fun reading" time so it didn't work, but I'm thinking if its separate from our family enjoyable reading time it might be better.

                  I really wanted to put them into the MP 3 content subjects, but they aren't ready, and I'd actually be hindering them if I pushed them ahead of what they are ready for. I want my kids to be at age level for their skills. But one question is why do I want this so much? Is it for their benefit or mine? Am I doing all I reasonably can to help them grow their skills? Am I being consistent? These are the questions I have to really honestly consider when making these types of decisions and planning for the next year.
                  Susan

                  2018-2019
                  A (10) - Barton, R&S math 3, SC 3
                  C (9) - Barton, R&S math 2, SC 3
                  G (5) - Simply Classical C

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: SC 2 or SC 3

                    [/QUOTE]I want my kids to be at age level for their skills. But one question is why do I want this so much? Is it for their benefit or mine? Am I doing all I reasonably can to help them grow their skills? Am I being consistent? These are the questions I have to really honestly consider when making these types of decisions and planning for the next year.[/QUOTE]

                    Amen! (This is why Susan and I are rooming together at Sodalitas...our minds are connected)

                    I too really wanted to up some content this next year. But, realistically we were spending so much time on the basics of reading, writing, math, and handwriting that we rarely got to any enrichment this past year. There's no way I could add upper level stuff and not feel uber stressed.

                    His behavior tanked this year. It was a hard hard year. And then to hear, "grade level...blah blah" from others was so disheartening. I stood my ground and insisted grade levels didn't matter. What mattered was he was learning at HIS pace. That is why we homeschool after all. God didn't make all children from the same cookie cutter. They're all different and disregarding those differences to send them down the conveyor belt of education is a disservice. It eventually catches up to them.
                    I would rather that he know his stuff than be familiar with it because he caught some snippets as we roared by.

                    I will say my son really struggled with thinking and writing in complete sentences. Comprehension was easy, but getting that on paper? Not so much. I too thought SC2 was too easy (and I heard it from family too). But realistically, he needed that year just for the writing component. His writing stamina has increased so much. His sentence content is far improved.

                    Short story: accelerate but don't skip
                    Last edited by Colomama; 06-14-2017, 11:31 PM.
                    Married to DH for 13 years. Living the rural life in the Colorado mountains

                    DS10- Simply Classical 4 / Grade 3 Classic Core,
                    DD8- Grade 2 Classic Core,
                    DD 6- Classic Core Kindergarten

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: SC 2 or SC 3

                      I really and truly appreciate all of the feedback. I am not trying to ignore it, but it is important to me that Clara is at, or really, really close to, grade level (which would have her in 3rd or 4th grade depending on where we live). I am not trying to push her into 4th grade, and there is no consideration of that. I am trying to get her past her only reading obstacle, which is reading at FSR Reading level E or above. I feel certain that her reading will take off when she gets all the basic phonics mastered. She has no trouble with anything in SC1. From what I have seen and showed her of SC2 she has no problem with it (other than not wanting to draw or paint (which I assume occurs since it is in SC1, but honestly we were looking at the reading) because her sister wants to draw or paint the same thing and her sister was blessed with artistic ability). It appears that MP 1st grade goes faster. I already own the entire package for both SC2 and MP1, so there is no financial consideration involved. If Clara did MP1 she would be at the end of the equivalent of SC3 by the end of the coming school year. Is this a possible idea? I talked to Michelle a lot for the last couple of years, and I wonder if she could offer an opinion, too.

                      Finishing SC3 or MP1 puts Clara at the end of 2nd grade (I know that MP is a hard, hard program - the materials used in 1st grade are most often used in 2nd elsewhere) so she is only a year behind in reading, and she will not be behind in math at all since she has no issues with anything in math other than inequalities (which we ended up skipping, and will return to later, but I am not horribly worried since she can already do multiplication skip counting). Even if Clara only moves on to MP 2nd next year she would only be one year behind where she should be after using MP1 or SC3. Her sister is brilliant, and we are holding her back to be a 5th grader because she has a very late July birthday and sister does not have good math skills due to first 3 years of school in public school. A year behind would not be terrible. I am seeing having to do SC2 and have Clara only be halfway through first grade as pretty terrible. Clara is in Bible Camp this week and her friends are the kids going into 3rd grade. She knew none of them, and is in a group of kids going into 2nd or 3rd grade, so I think her maturity level matches those kids entering 3rd grade.

                      I am sorry to keep asking all these questions. I know that this child is really smart, does not try/does not want to try, and that she will be able to read well soon. She is so close. She has even started reading books for fun that have lots of easy words (and she skips over the hard words and usually has the story mostly right when I ask her about them).
                      JeJe Greer
                      Mom to:
                      Stella (6M in 2018-2019)
                      Clara (SC3 in 2018-2019)

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: SC 2 or SC 3

                        Jeje,

                        I think MP 1 is a great choice, because your daughter's reading is beyond FSR E. Just make sure she does as much of the written work in MP 1 as possible, so she can improve her writing. You might use SC Spelling or SC Writing (Book One) Bible, if needed as supplements.


                        I think that the original question caused us to ponder "SC 2 or SC 3," so we focused on that question and were concerned about jumping to SC 3. But you are right: MP 1 could work very well. Use all of the MP 1 phonics tools, even if it seems too easy. Accelerate if needed, but complete everything you can in reading, spelling, and writing.

                        Then, as you mention, consider MP 2 or SC 3 when she finishes! In either of these, she will begin Latin. (This is not something her peers will likely study!) In SC 3, she would begin American history, which would be more aligned with her peers, yet she would continue to receive help with phonics, spelling, and writing. In MP 2, she would start Latin first semester. Either way, this sounds like a good plan. Both would challenge her bright mind.

                        (Just for the record, students do not need to paint in SC 2. ☺)


                        I am so glad you followed up here, Jeje. You already own MP 1, so get yourself organized and press forward. We are with you, if you are ready to proceed!

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: SC 2 or SC 3

                          I am really afraid to move her to MP1. I spent the last 2 days doing open houses and looking through the manuals and such for SC2 and MP1, and everything in SC 2 is so focused on helping Clara succeed. The spelling in SC2 is so much better for her. There is writing for her, which is pretty non-existent in MP1, and the SC2 StoryTime Treasures books offer the extra pages of help that she needs. I just do not know what to do. I am sure that she could handle MP1, but I am not sure that she could excel at it. She should be able to excel at SC2. She will just be kind of permanently behind then, I fear.

                          How do you give up on getting your child back to grade level? It is so hard, and it hurts. I love this little girl so much. I cannot believe God gave me such a beautiful, amazing, smart (but dyslexic), funny, huggy child to raise. I am feeling like I am failing her again, and I know that you all will say I am not, but that is how it feels. I was always driven to go, go, go, win, win, win and do better and better than everyone else. I made it to Harvard College and Harvard Law School, coming from a crappy (excuse my language) school system in Indiana. I am trying so hard to tone this pressure to succeed down for Clara, and Stella, but it is hard to do when ingrained in you from early childhood. Do I just assume that Clara can make it on to Harvard when she is 20 instead of 18? Do I figure she will never get there? Do I not ask her to try to be there? I realize that this goes way beyond the scope of my original comments. How do I accept her for who she is when I know that once she can read well she CAN do everything I did and make it to Harvard? And am I missing that it is not just reading that is the problem? You all have been so wonderful. I try to comment to help other people, but know that everyone else helps me more. Any help on whether I should accept that Clara will not be the inventor of the cure for the common cold, and on how to deal with myself on this one, would be appreciated. Oh, yes, I have read Cheryl's book. Several times. I should probably read it again.
                          JeJe Greer
                          Mom to:
                          Stella (6M in 2018-2019)
                          Clara (SC3 in 2018-2019)

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: SC 2 or SC 3

                            Originally posted by jejegreer View Post
                            How do you give up on getting your child back to grade level? It is so hard, and it hurts. I made it to Harvard College and Harvard Law School, coming from a crappy (excuse my language) school system in Indiana. I am trying so hard to tone this pressure to succeed down for Clara, and Stella, but it is hard to do when ingrained in you from early childhood. Do I just assume that Clara can make it on to Harvard when she is 20 instead of 18? Do I figure she will never get there? Do I not ask her to try to be there? I realize that this goes way beyond the scope of my original comments. How do I accept her for who she is when I know that once she can read well she CAN do everything I did and make it to Harvard? And am I missing that it is not just reading that is the problem? You all have been so wonderful. I try to comment to help other people, but know that everyone else helps me more. Any help on whether I should accept that Clara will not be the inventor of the cure for the common cold, and on how to deal with myself on this one, would be appreciated. Oh, yes, I have read Cheryl's book. Several times. I should probably read it again.
                            Yes, basically yes. You need to let go of any preconceived ideas of where she will/might go. Just let what will be, be. Leave it in God's hands. Let go (easier said then done)! She may go to Harvard, she may not. Until then, you can fill her soul with the true, the good and beautiful. She will learn far more than you can imagine, if you go at HER pace. If you feel at peace with SC2, DO IT! You can do both the RA and Bible editions of the writing and really, you'll have much!
                            Christine

                            (2019/2020)
                            DD1 8/23/09 - SC5/6
                            DS2 9/1/11 - SC3,4, 5/6 combo
                            DD3 2/9/13 -SC2 to start, MP1 second semester

                            Previous Years
                            DD 1 (MPK, SC2 (with AAR), SC3, SC4’
                            DS2 (SCB, SCC, MPK, SC2)
                            DD3 (SCA, SCB, Jr. K workbooks, soaking up from the others, MPK)

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: SC 2 or SC 3

                              Originally posted by jejegreer View Post
                              I am really afraid to move her to MP1. I spent the last 2 days doing open houses and looking through the manuals and such for SC2 and MP1, and everything in SC 2 is so focused on helping Clara succeed. The spelling in SC2 is so much better for her. There is writing for her, which is pretty non-existent in MP1, and the SC2 StoryTime Treasures books offer the extra pages of help that she needs. I just do not know what to do. I am sure that she could handle MP1, but I am not sure that she could excel at it. She should be able to excel at SC2. She will just be kind of permanently behind then, I fear.

                              How do you give up on getting your child back to grade level? It is so hard, and it hurts. I love this little girl so much. I cannot believe God gave me such a beautiful, amazing, smart (but dyslexic), funny, huggy child to raise. I am feeling like I am failing her again, and I know that you all will say I am not, but that is how it feels. I was always driven to go, go, go, win, win, win and do better and better than everyone else. I made it to Harvard College and Harvard Law School, coming from a crappy (excuse my language) school system in Indiana. I am trying so hard to tone this pressure to succeed down for Clara, and Stella, but it is hard to do when ingrained in you from early childhood. Do I just assume that Clara can make it on to Harvard when she is 20 instead of 18? Do I figure she will never get there? Do I not ask her to try to be there? I realize that this goes way beyond the scope of my original comments. How do I accept her for who she is when I know that once she can read well she CAN do everything I did and make it to Harvard? And am I missing that it is not just reading that is the problem? You all have been so wonderful. I try to comment to help other people, but know that everyone else helps me more. Any help on whether I should accept that Clara will not be the inventor of the cure for the common cold, and on how to deal with myself on this one, would be appreciated. Oh, yes, I have read Cheryl's book. Several times. I should probably read it again.
                              I struggle with this frequently. I expect most of us do.

                              But I think you have a bigger issue than just worrying about grade level. I don't think you can go into this thinking that your children (even your older gifted daughter) is going to make it to Harvard. You do have to let go of that type of goal. You can't control that. At this point, you have no idea if that's something she would even want. Why don't you focus on skills and character traits you want your children to have, rather than achievements? For example: being pleasant to be around (having the skills to converse and interact with people of various ages and walks of life) and being able to communicate well through writing and speaking and to speak articulately with ease. Those are a couple of my end goals for my kids.

                              I remember when A was first diagnosed with speech delays, I really thought we would just do a bit of speech therapy and then we would be done. He would be a 'normal' kid. It really took 3-4 years after that for me to understand that that wasn't true. At this point, I don't think his future has limits due to his disabilities but his trajectory or path is going to be different than many other children. And that is okay. Even my middle child who doesn't have any diagnosed differences will be on a different path for now. That is okay too. I have to do what is best for them right now. I can't make decisions based upon what I want their end results to be (other than character stuff of course). Doing that is basically decision making from a place a fear and that doesn't lead to anything good.

                              I also don't think you have to give up on getting your child back to grade level forever. Just right now/for the next few years. You don't know what the future holds.

                              I hear "If my child just didn't have this one struggle she would be fine" from your post. This may be true. But this type of focus doesn't help you or your child. The fact is, she does have this struggle (possibly more than one -- I think you've mentioned ODD, dyslexia, then you mention difficulty with narration, writing, and drawing) and you have to meet her where she is.

                              Now I have moments where I am deeply sad about my boys and their struggles. And that's okay. I'm their mama. It's hard to see them struggle and to realize that they are different. I have moments where I look at my daughter and think about how pleasant and generally easy it is to parent her and enjoy her and see her interacting easily with other people and think 'Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful to have three children like her.' Then I have to take a deep breath and realize what I would be missing if my children weren't who they are. They have differences and struggles, but their differences aren't all bad. They have special characteristics that would be fundamentally changed if their differences weren't there.

                              Also, It may feel like failing because you are trying to "fix" her by force of will. Unfortunately this is impossible. First, she doesn't need to be fixed. She needs to be helped and guided to reach her potential. In addition, you can't control the outcome. No one can. You can only provide her with good instruction at her level, structure, and love. You are likely blaming yourself for something you can't control.
                              Susan

                              2018-2019
                              A (10) - Barton, R&S math 3, SC 3
                              C (9) - Barton, R&S math 2, SC 3
                              G (5) - Simply Classical C

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