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OT: How much supervision?

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    OT: How much supervision?

    We have a problem where the kids will go off the deep end behaviorally if either my husband or myself sit down in front of a computer or try to do anything other than watch them. I know it's an attention thing, but I have work that has to be done and, frankly, sometimes I just need to get away from being constantly on task. We've set it up so that one of us is "on-duty" at all times, but we have to be completely clued in 90% of the time and are often dealing with at least one or two people who are falling apart. Just today, I tried looking into a visual scheduling app for them and ended up with three little ones in the kitchen playing with the water sprayer. I need to make a phone call but don't dare as everything will go to heck. Is this just the way it is when parenting ADD and EF kids? My husband and I are worn out and at our wits' end. Getting a babysitter isn't an option as no one wants to let their teenager babysit in our neighborhood (history of gun violence and low-key drug raids), my family is an hour and a half away and my husband's parents are constantly traveling for work, recovering from traveling or getting ready to leave. We haven't been out by ourselves since an hour lunch last August and date nights are take-out in our room while trying to get little people to stay in bed.
    Jennifer
    Blog: [url]www.seekingdelectare.com[/url]

    DS16
    MP: Lit 10, VideoText Algebra
    MPOA: High School Comp. II
    HSC: Spanish I, Conceptual Physics, Modern European History, and electives

    DS15
    MP: Biology, Lit 10, VideoText Algebra, Greek Tragedies
    MPOA: High School Comp. II, Fourth Form Latin
    HSC: Modern European History

    DS12
    7M with:
    Second Form Latin, EGR III, and HSC for US History

    DS11
    SC Level 4

    DD9
    3A, with First Form Latin (long story!)

    DD7/8
    Still in SC Level 2

    DD 4/5
    SC Level C

    #2
    Re: OT: How much supervision?

    I should also add that this is only the case when we're indoors at home. If they're playing outside or we're all out somewhere else, they're mostly fine even when we're not right there monitoring them.
    Jennifer
    Blog: [url]www.seekingdelectare.com[/url]

    DS16
    MP: Lit 10, VideoText Algebra
    MPOA: High School Comp. II
    HSC: Spanish I, Conceptual Physics, Modern European History, and electives

    DS15
    MP: Biology, Lit 10, VideoText Algebra, Greek Tragedies
    MPOA: High School Comp. II, Fourth Form Latin
    HSC: Modern European History

    DS12
    7M with:
    Second Form Latin, EGR III, and HSC for US History

    DS11
    SC Level 4

    DD9
    3A, with First Form Latin (long story!)

    DD7/8
    Still in SC Level 2

    DD 4/5
    SC Level C

    Comment


      #3
      Re: OT: How much supervision?

      Hi, Jennifer.

      My husband and I both work from home now, so we need to be creative too. Your children are more numerous than mine, but issues are similar.

      Your children, based on your signature:
      DS-13 (MP 8th), DS-12 (MP 7th), DS-10 (MP 5th), DS-7 (MP K), DD-6 (MP K), DD-4 (MP K), DD-18mos


      Some of these tips may not apply to you, but these have been successful for us at one time or another:

      1. Leadership
      Assign an older or more capable child daily walks 4:30-5:15pm with the other(s).
      This creates a good "quiet space" in the home before dinner. (Ahhh...) If the neighborhood is unsafe for walking, this could be a group game downstairs.

      2. Tokens
      Allot 1 tangible token per day for a justifiable interruption.
      This must be rationed, so the child must think twice about interrupting. He physically turns in his token (poker chip, etc.) for the interruption. If you must go intervene, this counts as an interruption. Begin with 1 in the morning, 1 in the afternoon, if needed. You want to break the habits of this: attention-seeking leads to attention-getting, which leads to your frustration, which leads to resentment, which leads to ineffective parenting, which leads to more unruly children, which leads to attention-seeking, and so on.

      3. Clock In/Out
      Hang a "Clocked In" sign on the door or above the work space.
      Be sure to turn it to "Clocked Out" when you're not working. Make yourself truly available when not officially clocked in. My husband and I both have one. (This is not fancy. My son made mine for me from cardboard, twine, and a rubber band for the doorknob, much like a "No Girls Allowed" treehouse sign.) Make the most of those actual work hours.

      4. Green Light/Red Light
      Place the daily schedule on a large white board. Place a Green Light where unsolicited talking to adults is allowed. Place a Red Light where tasks, chores, or play periods are to be focused and quiet. Just be sure to really allow the Green Light interactions when they are scheduled. We cannot always be "busy," or that quiet work time loses its respect.

      5. Family Mission
      Create a sense of "We're all in this together" with a family meeting. Without nagging or lecturing, explain how everything works together for the good of the family and the good of those in our lives. Dad's work provides xyz for the family and helps people in this way. Mom's work provides xyz for the family and helps people in this other way. Each person has a role. Every person - mom, dad, child - is a family helper. Students from K onward also have the important role of student! Even the tiny toddler can help by picking up toys, setting napkins on the table for dinner, and playing quietly during quiet play times. A "teamwork" mentality can help.

      6. Nights In
      My husband and I cannot leave our children alone. We have "nights in" rather than nights out. Early bedtime (or early room time) helps. My son cannot fall asleep so early, but he is allowed audio books in his room until a set time. "Good nights" are once-for-all before lights out, then my husband and I can enjoy a "date night" of playing cards, sitting outside, visiting with the neighbor or friends we might have over, or watching a movie together at home. This is not every night, so the children seem to respect this as something special just for us. Other nights we play games as a family, have a special dinner (like grilling), or clean up the house together. Family "major house clean-up" reinforces teamwork while cleaning up the house.

      7. Constructive Leisure
      Because you know they can all amuse themselves in other settings, maybe you can give them more to do at home. We have "more chores" as our default for anyone who cannot find something constructive to do. I keep a list on the board, so I do not need to think in the moment. We have also posted constructive leisure options on poster board, whether in picture form or words, so they can look at these independently.

      8. Wee Hours
      When I really need to work on a project, I'll go to bed as early as possible for several nights and awaken at 4. Those hours from 4-7 a.m. are amazingly productive for me. My neighbor works when she cannot sleep, such as 2-4 a.m. This would never work for me, but it works for her! Another local friend is an artist with a houseful of young children. She works after everyone is in bed and her creativity comes alive. None of these works long-term, because you need rest. However, in a pinch, they can help you catch up or even get ahead.

      9. Regroup
      Reassess your expectations for this season in your lives. After all, you have seven children, one of whom is a toddler, and you are a full-time homeschooler! Differentiate between "Must-Do" tasks and "Want-to-Do" tasks. Usually as moms we really can accomplish our Must-Do tasks. If you cannot, then assign more chores to those two older boys! Consider setting aside a Saturday to teach skills they cannot yet do, such as cleaning bathrooms, folding and putting away laundry, and light cooking. (Their wives will thank you one day.) These all employ good EF skills, help train focus for those with ADD, and truly help the family over time.



      Others with large families may have more targeted input for you.

      I hope you find a little more quiet, so you can concentrate for your work and have even time to rest now and then!

      Cheryl

      Comment


        #4
        Re: OT: How much supervision?

        Originally posted by jen1134 View Post
        I should also add that this is only the case when we're indoors at home. If they're playing outside or we're all out somewhere else, they're mostly fine even when we're not right there monitoring them.
        This doesn't surprise me. My oldest son has ADD and his behavior varies by store. Home Depot and Aldi are horrid. He's great at Sams Club or HEB. It depends on what there is to keep him occupied. Outside is great for these kids.
        Michelle in Central Tx
        DS 12 (4A modified), Ds 9 (4M), DS 5 (K)

        Comment


          #5
          Re: OT: How much supervision?

          Due to my oldest 2's history & special needs, we do supervise all the time. We have added about an hour of quiet time after lunch (my husband really pushed for this and wisely so as I am more driven to keep going). I'm torn as my kids get less done but I really appreciate a break where the 2 oldest spend rest time in their rooms (alone) and the 2 youngest stay in the living room/kitchen area and look at books quietly.


          Thank you for sharing your experience/current scheduling, Cheryl! I am working on being more intentional about scheduling my days...I need some work hours scheduled into my days (along with homeschooling 4 children--bascially on 3 different levels). My husband is skeptical I can really pull off scheduling time for both during the weekdays. I understand that somewhat as we do have some unpredictability with my children's behavior although it is soooo much better than this time last year. I'm putting together a new planner and hoping to use different colored highlighters to start budgeting my time better. It is not something that comes natural to my personality or my husband's so that could be part of his perspective or just that he recognizes how challenging my days can be with my kids' behavior. I think I'm still struggling to fit in school for dara (kindergarten), Ervin & Ligia (SC 2), and Colin (aged 9--4th grade but not using entirely memoria press as he is doing a hodge podge curriculum and he is still the one who is the most reluctant to do focused school time).


          heather

          Originally posted by cherylswope View Post
          Hi, Jennifer.

          My husband and I both work from home now, so we need to be creative too. Your children are more numerous than mine, but issues are similar.

          Your children, based on your signature:
          DS-13 (MP 8th), DS-12 (MP 7th), DS-10 (MP 5th), DS-7 (MP K), DD-6 (MP K), DD-4 (MP K), DD-18mos


          Some of these tips may not apply to you, but these have been successful for us at one time or another:

          1. Leadership
          Assign an older or more capable child daily walks 4:30-5:15pm with the other(s).
          This creates a good "quiet space" in the home before dinner. (Ahhh...) If the neighborhood is unsafe for walking, this could be a group game downstairs.

          2. Tokens
          Allot 1 tangible token per day for a justifiable interruption.
          This must be rationed, so the child must think twice about interrupting. He physically turns in his token (poker chip, etc.) for the interruption. If you must go intervene, this counts as an interruption. Begin with 1 in the morning, 1 in the afternoon, if needed. You want to break the habits of this: attention-seeking leads to attention-getting, which leads to your frustration, which leads to resentment, which leads to ineffective parenting, which leads to more unruly children, which leads to attention-seeking, and so on.

          3. Clock In/Out
          Hang a "Clocked In" sign on the door or above the work space.
          Be sure to turn it to "Clocked Out" when you're not working. Make yourself truly available when not officially clocked in. My husband and I both have one. (This is not fancy. My son made mine for me from cardboard, twine, and a rubber band for the doorknob, much like a "No Girls Allowed" treehouse sign.) Make the most of those actual work hours.

          4. Green Light/Red Light
          Place the daily schedule on a large white board. Place a Green Light where unsolicited talking to adults is allowed. Place a Red Light where tasks, chores, or play periods are to be focused and quiet. Just be sure to really allow the Green Light interactions when they are scheduled. We cannot always be "busy," or that quiet work time loses its respect.

          5. Family Mission
          Create a sense of "We're all in this together" with a family meeting. Without nagging or lecturing, explain how everything works together for the good of the family and the good of those in our lives. Dad's work provides xyz for the family and helps people in this way. Mom's work provides xyz for the family and helps people in this other way. Each person has a role. Every person - mom, dad, child - is a family helper. Students from K onward also have the important role of student! Even the tiny toddler can help by picking up toys, setting napkins on the table for dinner, and playing quietly during quiet play times. A "teamwork" mentality can help.

          6. Nights In
          My husband and I cannot leave our children alone. We have "nights in" rather than nights out. Early bedtime (or early room time) helps. My son cannot fall asleep so early, but he is allowed audio books in his room until a set time. "Good nights" are once-for-all before lights out, then my husband and I can enjoy a "date night" of playing cards, sitting outside, visiting with the neighbor or friends we might have over, or watching a movie together at home. This is not every night, so the children seem to respect this as something special just for us. Other nights we play games as a family, have a special dinner (like grilling), or clean up the house together. Family "major house clean-up" reinforces teamwork while cleaning up the house.

          7. Constructive Leisure
          Because you know they can all amuse themselves in other settings, maybe you can give them more to do at home. We have "more chores" as our default for anyone who cannot find something constructive to do. I keep a list on the board, so I do not need to think in the moment. We have also posted constructive leisure options on poster board, whether in picture form or words, so they can look at these independently.

          8. Wee Hours
          When I really need to work on a project, I'll go to bed as early as possible for several nights and awaken at 4. Those hours from 4-7 a.m. are amazingly productive for me. My neighbor works when she cannot sleep, such as 2-4 a.m. This would never work for me, but it works for her! Another local friend is an artist with a houseful of young children. She works after everyone is in bed and her creativity comes alive. None of these works long-term, because you need rest. However, in a pinch, they can help you catch up or even get ahead.

          9. Regroup
          Reassess your expectations for this season in your lives. After all, you have seven children, one of whom is a toddler, and you are a full-time homeschooler! Differentiate between "Must-Do" tasks and "Want-to-Do" tasks. Usually as moms we really can accomplish our Must-Do tasks. If you cannot, then assign more chores to those two older boys! Consider setting aside a Saturday to teach skills they cannot yet do, such as cleaning bathrooms, folding and putting away laundry, and light cooking. (Their wives will thank you one day.) These all employ good EF skills, help train focus for those with ADD, and truly help the family over time.



          Others with large families may have more targeted input for you.

          I hope you find a little more quiet, so you can concentrate for your work and have even time to rest now and then!

          Cheryl

          Comment


            #6
            Re: OT: How much supervision?

            Just wanted to echo some of what Cheryl said. Especially getting up earlier than the rest of the family; "staying present" when you're teaching/interacting; date nights in; assigned chores; and token systems. All these are game-savers for us. And daily Quiet Time is a non-negotiable in this house. We could not survive without it. The biggest help is consistency. The rules don't change. The kids know what they are and they are consistently enforced.

            Many special needs kids don't "get" explanations regarding social behavior, interrupting, appropriate boundaries or norms of politeness (or if they understand them, they forget!), so visual cues are a must. We have a chores/behavior chart that I made from poster board based on this: https://smile.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00...AJ50F3QGX6DT4Q
            I customized a big sheet of poster board with spaces for my three older children, and ordered two different packs of the squares (that picture each task) and two packs of stars. A quick trip to Hobby Lobby for some cheap Velcro and we have a chores and behavior chart that includes things like no whining, get dressed, feed pets, set the table, no hitting, behave in public, quiet while someone uses the phone, vacuum, clean your room, etc. My kids do things for plastic stars that I couldn't get them to do for all the bribery and lecturing in the world. Amazing. Five stars for one task gets a predetermined reward. The children get to decide on a master list of possible rewards (approved by Mom and Dad) and when they have earned five stars, they get to choose a reward from the list. It took me about two weeks of free time (15-20 minutes each session) to get the whole thing together, but it was well worth the effort. There are tons of charts you can print/make/buy/employ that do the same thing.

            Best advice? Don't give up. You will find what works. You can get peace in your home and family. You just might have to get a little creative.
            Boy Wonder: 10, MP2/SC4 (Special Needs)
            Joy Bubble: 8, MP2 (Special Needs)
            Snuggly Cowboy: 6, MPK
            Sweet Lightness: 2, Reverse-Engineering Specialist

            “Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence.”
            ~Pope St John Paul II

            Comment


              #7
              Re: OT: How much supervision?

              Thank you all for your input! It's so helpful and my husband and I are discussing these ideas. I like the token idea, but I think I may have to give them a couple of tokens to start with...otherwise I'll have a revolution on my hands. But then again, that could set them up with false expectations?

              I've made TONS of charts and lists over the years, but none of us remember to look at them. Maybe attaching the reward system is the missing link here. I've always avoided the reward concept, but I keep reading that it's necessary with challenging kids. Totally goes against my grain

              I joked with the kids yesterday that maybe I need to hang up a huge mobile in the middle of the house so that none of us forget to look at the charts!
              Jennifer
              Blog: [url]www.seekingdelectare.com[/url]

              DS16
              MP: Lit 10, VideoText Algebra
              MPOA: High School Comp. II
              HSC: Spanish I, Conceptual Physics, Modern European History, and electives

              DS15
              MP: Biology, Lit 10, VideoText Algebra, Greek Tragedies
              MPOA: High School Comp. II, Fourth Form Latin
              HSC: Modern European History

              DS12
              7M with:
              Second Form Latin, EGR III, and HSC for US History

              DS11
              SC Level 4

              DD9
              3A, with First Form Latin (long story!)

              DD7/8
              Still in SC Level 2

              DD 4/5
              SC Level C

              Comment


                #8
                Re: OT: How much supervision?

                Originally posted by jen1134 View Post
                I've made TONS of charts and lists over the years, but none of us remember to look at them. Maybe attaching the reward system is the missing link here. I've always avoided the reward concept, but I keep reading that it's necessary with challenging kids. Totally goes against my grain

                I joked with the kids yesterday that maybe I need to hang up a huge mobile in the middle of the house so that none of us forget to look at the charts!
                Ours is on the back of the kitchen door. I couldn't miss it if I tried!
                And our rewards are all activity-based, not food-based (read a book with Mama all by myself; go to the store with Daddy in *his* car; play with Legos alone for 1 hour; one tv show, bubble bath, etc.)
                Boy Wonder: 10, MP2/SC4 (Special Needs)
                Joy Bubble: 8, MP2 (Special Needs)
                Snuggly Cowboy: 6, MPK
                Sweet Lightness: 2, Reverse-Engineering Specialist

                “Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence.”
                ~Pope St John Paul II

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: OT: How much supervision?

                  I'm going to be controversial and say that not all kids respond to reward systems. My kids do not...they do not respond to stickers or charts or tokens. When I taught public school, I saw first hand that the points system the school used school-wise did not work well for my kids with special struggles. There have been some articles I've read online over the past few years that support this idea that it not always effective. Again, I know that every child is different but am just mentioning this in case you try it and it doesn't work. In some of my special needs support groups, this info. has been shared as well as family's experiences with it not always working.

                  Now, my kids do enjoy a treat of a video and if I do that they tend to sit pretty well for 30 minutes to 1 hr. I don't do it often. I also can sometimes get them to work on craft projects peacefully or color while I'm working on the computer for a little while (as I am doing right at this moment).

                  Heather

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: OT: How much supervision?

                    Originally posted by mymommy1 View Post
                    This doesn't surprise me. My oldest son has ADD and his behavior varies by store. Home Depot and Aldi are horrid. He's great at Sams Club or HEB. It depends on what there is to keep him occupied. Outside is great for these kids.
                    This is so funny to read since Clara is just fine at Natural Grocers and Wal-Mart, but I cannot get her to behave well at Target, and yesterday is the first time I have EVER been able to purchase something at Whole Foods with her in tow (I used the promise of a popsicle immediately upon returning home in order to buy a single pork roast). What is it with some stores and not others? I am so glad to hear we are not alone here!
                    JeJe Greer
                    Mom to:
                    Stella (6M in 2018-2019)
                    Clara (SC3 in 2018-2019)

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: OT: How much supervision?

                      Originally posted by jejegreer View Post
                      This is so funny to read since Clara is just fine at Natural Grocers and Wal-Mart, but I cannot get her to behave well at Target, and yesterday is the first time I have EVER been able to purchase something at Whole Foods with her in tow (I used the promise of a popsicle immediately upon returning home in order to buy a single pork roast). What is it with some stores and not others? I am so glad to hear we are not alone here!
                      Oh, no -- absolutely not! When my kids were younger, there were only a few stores they would tolerate. And we had to take a specific route each time around the store -- I mean EXACTLY the same route -- or my oldest would scream. And it was always smooth sailing until we got to the checkout -- ugh. I dreaded the checkout, especially if there was any sort of line or downtime with nothing to do but wait.

                      We couldn't go to the post office (always a line and nothing to entertain or distract, too many ways for my kids to run out the front door). And the mall? HA! I still have nightmares about that level of sensory overload (even for me, I basically despise the mall).

                      It's much more manageable now that they are older, but we still have struggles in some stores vs others. (The kids will always be hard to herd in Walmart, for example. I think it's just too big and complex in there.) So, no: it is not just you!
                      Boy Wonder: 10, MP2/SC4 (Special Needs)
                      Joy Bubble: 8, MP2 (Special Needs)
                      Snuggly Cowboy: 6, MPK
                      Sweet Lightness: 2, Reverse-Engineering Specialist

                      “Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence.”
                      ~Pope St John Paul II

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: OT: How much supervision?

                        Originally posted by HeatherB View Post
                        I'm going to be controversial and say that not all kids respond to reward systems. My kids do not...they do not respond to stickers or charts or tokens. When I taught public school, I saw first hand that the points system the school used school-wise did not work well for my kids with special struggles. There have been some articles I've read online over the past few years that support this idea that it not always effective. Again, I know that every child is different but am just mentioning this in case you try it and it doesn't work. In some of my special needs support groups, this info. has been shared as well as family's experiences with it not always working.

                        Now, my kids do enjoy a treat of a video and if I do that they tend to sit pretty well for 30 minutes to 1 hr. I don't do it often. I also can sometimes get them to work on craft projects peacefully or color while I'm working on the computer for a little while (as I am doing right at this moment).

                        Heather
                        Heather, what have you found that works for your kids? Do they have ADD/ADHD? Just curious as sometimes the system works for our oldest and sometimes not. I don't find that my younger two NT kids need it. They respond to a normal consequence system. Work not done, don't play. etc
                        Michelle in Central Tx
                        DS 12 (4A modified), Ds 9 (4M), DS 5 (K)

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: OT: How much supervision?

                          Anyone interested in a simple ready-made visual reminder system might take a cue from this set: https://smile.amazon.com/Kenson-Kids...d_ys_ir_all_32
                          This one is nice because you move the icon from "to be done" to "I did it" and it clearly shows what remains to be accomplished. (I think I need one for myself, actually!)

                          Or this one: https://smile.amazon.com/Kenson-Kids...d_ys_ir_all_23
                          This one involves putting a star beside the completed task. Still helpful, but in a slightly different graphic.

                          This one is a generic "task caterpillar": https://smile.amazon.com/Kenson-Kids...ds+caterpillar Which might go along with the caterpillar visual aid in SC2 nicely. This caterpillar token system can be used for anything you're working on -- school, home or self care.

                          These boards, icons and stars are sturdy, well made and pleasingly tactile. Worth the money for anyone interested. They don't work for every child -- they would not have worked for my children a few years ago --- but when they do, they are definitely helpful.
                          Last edited by Anita; 08-13-2016, 07:59 AM.
                          Boy Wonder: 10, MP2/SC4 (Special Needs)
                          Joy Bubble: 8, MP2 (Special Needs)
                          Snuggly Cowboy: 6, MPK
                          Sweet Lightness: 2, Reverse-Engineering Specialist

                          “Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence.”
                          ~Pope St John Paul II

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: OT: How much supervision?

                            Each of my kids is different but we don't reward them doing say chores/helping around the house b/c we just do that as a team and we're all expected to help as best we can. This has gotten easier after lots of repetition/working on this for years. It has had some rough moments and didn't come over night. We still have room to grow. I think I am no expert, mind you...I'm still learning what works for my kids. Are you asking how do we motivate them? We model positive attitude and we try to keep a schedule/routines which help them with their days. We work on teaching about how we are a team and we work together...trying to work on teamwork and getting along. Lots of work on social skills. I'm fortunate mine have a rest time daily now. They also can work at the table near me on crafts or coloring or play dough. But it's not like I'm rewarding them for this stuff. We use language like first we will _______" whatever needs to get done, "then we can _________"....something they want to do that is fun, relaxing, or even just a healthy snack or the next meal. We've used timers some to help them.

                            We have frequent breaks (we like to go out and work in the garden or play). I also meet my kids where they are developmentally. My oldest 2 who have disabilities have to have supervision/different accommodations right now and I try to lower my expectations for what they can do (with regards to supervision/need for breaks in their schedule/guidance in work). When I meet them where they are, I have had fewer behavioral challenges and they are less frustrated/more able to handle me taking time to do a little work while they work on something else (they may need guidance in what that is still but they are getting better at knowing what choices they have).

                            Originally posted by mymommy1 View Post
                            Heather, what have you found that works for your kids? Do they have ADD/ADHD? Just curious as sometimes the system works for our oldest and sometimes not. I don't find that my younger two NT kids need it. They respond to a normal consequence system. Work not done, don't play. etc



                            Originally posted by mymommy1 View Post
                            Heather, what have you found that works for your kids? Do they have ADD/ADHD? Just curious as sometimes the system works for our oldest and sometimes not. I don't find that my younger two NT kids need it. They respond to a normal consequence system. Work not done, don't play. etc

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: OT: How much supervision?

                              Originally posted by HeatherB View Post
                              When I meet them where they are, I have had fewer behavioral challenges and they are less frustrated/more able to handle me taking time to do a little work while they work on something else (they may need guidance in what that is still but they are getting better at knowing what choices they have).
                              Thanks Heather. My kids don't seem to respond to rewards system either. And I was really keen to see your response. There's rarely a magic wand solution is there! The developmental issue has been playing on my mind recently. It's easy not to expect much of my 4yo with ASD because his inabilities are so clear most of the time but I struggle most with my 6 yo who is incredibly bright but then finds basic things SO difficult. She finds it so hard to keep her room clean, even with help, even with rewards, even with broken down instructions left on the wall that we cleared everything out of her room except her bed, reading chair, CD player/iPod for audiobooks and 3 special things. And I'm in the process of sewing her some "uniforms" (a pretty dress sewn in 5 different fabrics we agreed on) to have one hung up for each day of the school week with undies right there too) so that getting dressed every morning isn't a big big drama. And so that I'm not embarrassed at her having dressed herself inappropriately when I've let things go cause I'm in a rush. In fact I'm getting just as many great tips on this special needs forum for my 6 year old who is loving my husband reading The Lord of the Rings to her and who initiates and sustains some pretty crazy conversations with my husband about life/meaning/time (fortunately she got this from him and he is about to submit his doctorate in analytic theology so he is well prepared to help her in this regard) as for my sweet sweet 4yo who is still far off reciting the alphabet or 1-10 (but is so proud of himself doing it with my help!). I think the term is asynchronous development.

                              And btw those "uniforms" are getting sewn at my new wake up time of 4.30am (new bedtime is 9pm, works with my husbands new hours with commuting) and I am just too tired in the evenings and I don't feel like it's safe to take this time out during the day. I've got a 13 month old who climbs everything as well...and it's a matter of taking my eyes off for a few minutes and the other two have painted themselves in mud in the backyard, or inventing something dangerous to do. This morning Miriam came out with texta all over her face (on a morning my mother in law is looking after them and in a public place, while I attend Hanen training for my son)...here's hoping it all comes off!
                              Last edited by sarahandrew; 08-15-2016, 03:54 PM.
                              Sarah

                              Aussies from Sydney, Australia
                              Miriam 9yo Latina Christiana, R&S4, IEW Phonetic Zoo, IEW Grammar
                              Jonny 7yo (Special Needs) SC1 Phonics, R&S1
                              Elissa (almost) 4yo K phonics, R&S Preschool books

                              Together this term (in Circle Time) we are doing Bible time with SC1 Story Bible and our own memorisation/songs, Myself and Others 2, Homer Price, Greek Myths, IEW Poetry Memorisation, speech therapy, The Body Book, Artventure and picture books from SCB/SC1 etc.

                              Thomas 17 months

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