Help placing my 4.5yo

[Jweishaar]

I’m not sure where to go with my littlest boy. He’s 4.5yo and the developmental doctor we saw last year thought he was likely on the spectrum but didn’t want to give a definitive diagnosis at that point. My older two are on the spectrum but are both pretty advanced verbally and academically, so I’m a bit uncertain how to proceed with this son, who was very slow to speak and just seems more behind in some ways than my older kids.

He was slow to develop language, but his language has really exploded in the past six months. He’s become more conversational and is getting better at asking and answering questions, but he definitely does not speak like a typical four year old. We have worked through SC A but I’m just not sure if he’s ready for SC B. His readiness assessment for B scored as follows:
language - 12 yes, 1 emerging, 3 no
cognitive - 4Y, 6E, 4N
social-emotional - 6Y, 7N, 2N
fine motor - 7Y, 3E, 5N
gross motor - 6Y, 3E, 5N

When I looked at the sample for Level B, I just don’t think he can do a lot of the stuff. Just with the recitation, for example, he won’t tell you his name when asked, and he can sing but couldn’t say the ABCs. He doesn’t like coloring much and will only hold crayons or markers with a fist (although my first two were like that at this age and now they have excellent penmanship and love drawing). He doesn’t respond well to doing things hand over hand so I haven’t insisted on that during level A. When he wants to do something he’s very engaged (he loves puzzles, lacing, and building train tracks) but otherwise it’s fairly difficult to pull him into an activity he doesn’t want to do. He joins in on our morning time reading and singing, has multiple story times throughout the day, helps me with simple cooking and chores, prays and sings with us at meals, and likes playing with big brother and sister, but I just feel like he spends much of the day on his own or checked out. We had our first two babies in 15 months then had a nearly three year gap and haven’t been able to have more children, so he’s a bit of the lone man out.

What should I do? Should I just repeat level A or forge ahead with level B and just see what he can do? Or is there some other option I’m overlooking?

[howiecram]

Hello! I can relate to much of this post, but have the opposite "problem". My oldest is 2 year older than her brother, and her brother is only 17 months older than his other sister. So, in 3.5 years we had 3 babies. My older daughter has always been kind of on her own as well. She stopped napping at age 3, so during the younger two naps, she would spend 2 hours in her room. (this was her choice, I would tell her she could come out after an hour and she wanted to stay!!). Until my youngest was about 18 months the older two did "play" but it was mostly my older daughter directing the play for my son. Once my younger daughter hit about age 2, the younger two were pretty much like glue. Even to this day, my younger daughter (age 9) doesn't play by herself well. She does have the least amount of work, but she'll do something in the room we are all in. She doesn't like to go to her room by herself. At age 12, 10 and 9, my older daughter does play with the younger two, but will often go to her room to read for long periods of time. She'll play outdoor games for a little while, but tires more easily and will come back inside.

As for your current situation, I might try and focus my first part of the day on the youngest child. (let the older two play) You could do parts of B this year and save the "workbook" type books for either the next year, or when he seems ready. (Aim to possibly take 2 years to do level B - this year leave out the writing, add in the writing the following year) The read-alouds, recitation (you do it WITH him or just say the answers, he may join you one day!), poetry, etc are all good things you can do with him. Playdough, Wikki Sticks can all be used in place of actual writing to build up stamina/hand strength. You can also gradually work in the workbooks. For example, go in to the page he is supposed to do and outline the entire picture. YOU color a portion that is outlined and then ask him if he would like to color a little. He may see it less overwhelming if he knows he only has to do a little. Or you can outline the entire picture and say "could you color x object? If he knows he only has to color a tiny portion he may be more willing. I did find that if I sat beside my child with my own coloring book, sometimes that would entice the child as well.

If he likes puzzles, lacing and building trains, this is a excellent time to play the poetry CD, while you work with your older two kids.

Here are links to a few things we enjoyed from B (that are not included in the core but suggested)

https://www.rainbowresource.com/prod...et-Cards.html?
https://www.rainbowresource.com/prod...ty-Guide.html?
https://www.rainbowresource.com/hSea...ssical+B+games

Good luck and let us know how it is going!

[Jweishaar]

Hello! I can relate to much of this post, but have the opposite "problem". My oldest is 2 year older than her brother, and her brother is only 17 months older than his other sister. So, in 3.5 years we had 3 babies. My older daughter has always been kind of on her own as well. She stopped napping at age 3, so during the younger two naps, she would spend 2 hours in her room. (this was her choice, I would tell her she could come out after an hour and she wanted to stay!!). Until my youngest was about 18 months the older two did "play" but it was mostly my older daughter directing the play for my son. Once my younger daughter hit about age 2, the younger two were pretty much like glue. Even to this day, my younger daughter (age 9) doesn't play by herself well. She does have the least amount of work, but she'll do something in the room we are all in. She doesn't like to go to her room by herself. At age 12, 10 and 9, my older daughter does play with the younger two, but will often go to her room to read for long periods of time. She'll play outdoor games for a little while, but tires more easily and will come back inside.

As for your current situation, I might try and focus my first part of the day on the youngest child. (let the older two play) You could do parts of B this year and save the "workbook" type books for either the next year, or when he seems ready. (Aim to possibly take 2 years to do level B - this year leave out the writing, add in the writing the following year) The read-alouds, recitation (you do it WITH him or just say the answers, he may join you one day!), poetry, etc are all good things you can do with him. Playdough, Wikki Sticks can all be used in place of actual writing to build up stamina/hand strength. You can also gradually work in the workbooks. For example, go in to the page he is supposed to do and outline the entire picture. YOU color a portion that is outlined and then ask him if he would like to color a little. He may see it less overwhelming if he knows he only has to do a little. Or you can outline the entire picture and say "could you color x object? If he knows he only has to color a tiny portion he may be more willing. I did find that if I sat beside my child with my own coloring book, sometimes that would entice the child as well.

If he likes puzzles, lacing and building trains, this is a excellent time to play the poetry CD, while you work with your older two kids.

Here are links to a few things we enjoyed from B (that are not included in the core but suggested)

https://www.rainbowresource.com/prod...et-Cards.html?
https://www.rainbowresource.com/prod...ty-Guide.html?
https://www.rainbowresource.com/hSea...ssical+B+games

Good luck and let us know how it is going!

Thanks for the suggestions! I hadn’t even thought of splitting out the workbook aspect and saving it for next year. That’s probably exactly what I need to do. This little boy is so different from my older two (who are very similar to each other in addition to the small age gap…I got spoiled) that he often feels like a bit of a mystery to me. I know how to love him well, but I’m still trying to figure out how to best help him learn.

[cherylswope]

Jweishaar, if you have time to email me a snapshot or pdf of your son's exact scores, I can send you a book list to help with dividing Level B into two years as howiecram advised, [email protected].

Sometimes we include the Numbers Coloring & Alphabet Coloring to provide some hand-over-hand coloring the first year. It will be helpful to see where each of his "yes" / "emerging" / and "no" scores fall. Some are weighted more heavily than others.

Remember that you will be teaching those recitations, coloring techniques, oral language and other skills, not merely requiring them. Level B can become the means by which he learns them.

A tip: Some families have found it helpful to re-teach Level A alongside B, possibly revisiting Level A late afternoon or at bedtime and teaching Level B as "school" during the day. The stories will be familiar, you already own them, and he can continue making progress in oral language through Level A while moving forward in Level B!

[Jweishaar]

cherylswope thanks for you help! I sent you an email with his readiness assessment.