I'm reaching out on the advice of our co-op leader to gain some wisdom for my 11 y/o son. He is the oldest of my 4 boys with the younger aged 10, 8 and 5. He is very smart, loves to read and does not complain about doing school. That being said, he is a very busy minded child. Not hyperactive, loud or disrespectful. His mind is just going so fast all the time. He can easily stare off and keep his mind busy for long periods of time playing games with his fingers or moving his eyes around. He can be so into his world that he doesn't hear your talking or notice that people have left him or are staring at him. He has a very difficult time staying on task and is highly distracted. He can usually only follow one direction at a time or he gets lost in the directions. I have had him tested for various disorders (ADD, ADHD, Autism) and the therapist called him socially delayed but did not offer an official diagnosis. As you could imagine, he struggles to make friends. He prefers to play with children much younger than himself and is not able to make friends with children his age.
This weighs heavily on me, obviously, and I am not sure what to do or how to help him. He has a very structured day (out of necessity). He's up at a certain time, dressed and chores done by a certain time, at the school table by 9. Lunch at 11:30 etc. We line out his school work first thing in his planner and I let him work through at his own pace to try to foster some independence. My hope is to help him be less dependent on me to keep him on track during the day. I do check in with him often and he brings his work to me when it's completed so I can check it and make sure he's done what's been asked.
He is getting to an age where I'm watching his peers soar past him, socially and it's heartbreaking to watch. I know he is only 11, but I have watched him struggle in this way from age 6. I have been told age will help, but it seems to make it more pronounced. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation with your child? Where there methods or therapies that you found helpful?
Now to the Latin issue:
We began using MP curriculum when he was in 3rd grade. He did Latina Christiana that year at home. It was a big adjustment for him and our family, but he acclimated well and memorized all of the vocabulary. We joined a 1 day a week co-op for his 4th grade year. Our co-op, at the time, did not have enough students to make a 4th grade class, so he joined a 5th/6th grade class with 2 other 4th grade girls. That year, he did First Form Latin and was able to retain the information, but struggled with his daily work. Our lessons would average about an hour and a half to complete the recommended work. He did finish and pass his class that year and got a great grade on his final exam. We struggled our way through 5th grade/ SF Latin, still taking about an hour and a half a day to complete his work. I did not have an issue keeping him back in SF for 6th grade because he would be in a classroom of kids closer to his age. Having social delays, I was hoping this would be an easy transition. He was so sad to be kept in SF this year while his classmates moved on to Third Form. He is now in SF for the second year with his younger brother. His younger brother is taking to it easily and has integrated into the classroom well. My older son still continues to struggle with his daily work and to operate in the classroom.
I'm worried about his year, given that it's his second go at SF and he is still struggling. Our co-op is Latin based and, at the moment, it is not an option to not do Latin. If he cannot complete the SF work or pass his final, the only option is keeping him back another year and his younger brother and classmates will move on again without him. I'm worried how that will make him feel and how it may add to the social strain between him and his classmates. I would love if our co-op slowed down the Latin classes into 2 years, or did a slower paced and faster paced, but they currently don't offer that. The bulk of his social life is co-op and church and if he does not go to co-op he loses a large amount of his possibility to socialize.
I would love to hear any helpful advice on how to problem solve with our co-op for children that cannot keep pace with their peers in a required subject. Also, if you've had a similar situation and any solutions you found helpful?
Thanks so much!
Kyle
This weighs heavily on me, obviously, and I am not sure what to do or how to help him. He has a very structured day (out of necessity). He's up at a certain time, dressed and chores done by a certain time, at the school table by 9. Lunch at 11:30 etc. We line out his school work first thing in his planner and I let him work through at his own pace to try to foster some independence. My hope is to help him be less dependent on me to keep him on track during the day. I do check in with him often and he brings his work to me when it's completed so I can check it and make sure he's done what's been asked.
He is getting to an age where I'm watching his peers soar past him, socially and it's heartbreaking to watch. I know he is only 11, but I have watched him struggle in this way from age 6. I have been told age will help, but it seems to make it more pronounced. Has anyone dealt with a similar situation with your child? Where there methods or therapies that you found helpful?
Now to the Latin issue:
We began using MP curriculum when he was in 3rd grade. He did Latina Christiana that year at home. It was a big adjustment for him and our family, but he acclimated well and memorized all of the vocabulary. We joined a 1 day a week co-op for his 4th grade year. Our co-op, at the time, did not have enough students to make a 4th grade class, so he joined a 5th/6th grade class with 2 other 4th grade girls. That year, he did First Form Latin and was able to retain the information, but struggled with his daily work. Our lessons would average about an hour and a half to complete the recommended work. He did finish and pass his class that year and got a great grade on his final exam. We struggled our way through 5th grade/ SF Latin, still taking about an hour and a half a day to complete his work. I did not have an issue keeping him back in SF for 6th grade because he would be in a classroom of kids closer to his age. Having social delays, I was hoping this would be an easy transition. He was so sad to be kept in SF this year while his classmates moved on to Third Form. He is now in SF for the second year with his younger brother. His younger brother is taking to it easily and has integrated into the classroom well. My older son still continues to struggle with his daily work and to operate in the classroom.
I'm worried about his year, given that it's his second go at SF and he is still struggling. Our co-op is Latin based and, at the moment, it is not an option to not do Latin. If he cannot complete the SF work or pass his final, the only option is keeping him back another year and his younger brother and classmates will move on again without him. I'm worried how that will make him feel and how it may add to the social strain between him and his classmates. I would love if our co-op slowed down the Latin classes into 2 years, or did a slower paced and faster paced, but they currently don't offer that. The bulk of his social life is co-op and church and if he does not go to co-op he loses a large amount of his possibility to socialize.
I would love to hear any helpful advice on how to problem solve with our co-op for children that cannot keep pace with their peers in a required subject. Also, if you've had a similar situation and any solutions you found helpful?
Thanks so much!
Kyle
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