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This website contains general information about medical and educational conditions and treatments. The information is not advice, and should not be treated as such.

The educational and medical information on this website is provided “as is” without any representations or warranties, express or implied. Cheryl Swope, M.Ed. and Memoria Press make no representations or warranties in relation to the information on this website.

You must not rely on the information on this website as an alternative to medical advice from your doctor or individualized advice from any other professional healthcare or educational provider. If you think you or your child may be suffering from any medical condition you should seek immediate medical attention.

You should never delay seeking medical or educational advice, disregard medical or educational advice, or discontinue medical or educational treatment because of any information on this website.
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  • sfhargett
    replied
    I will be praying for both of you Colomama and Anita. We need to do update evaluations soon too. I've also dealt with dealing with declining parents also. It's so tough!

    Colomama Thanks for the reminder about how hard they work to keep it together. I need that reminder for dealing with all three of my children.

    Leave a comment:


  • cherylswope
    replied
    Originally posted by Colomama View Post
    So, the down and dirty answer after our follow-up. Nothing changed. She adjusted his level for autism from 2 to 1, but upon questioning said he was really in both and so she just went with the the lower level. If there was a 1.5, she would've chose that.

    His IQ was unchanged, sitting at 81, but his score was drug down by a very low processing speed (66) and a low short term memory (82). Same as three years ago. So the idea of throwing out those scores and sticking with his other averages puts him at an IQ of 91. I asked if she was willing to throw lower scores if she would do the same with his too two scores. She didn't like that at all.

    His father was disappointed/ shocked, I don't know, that his diagnosis stuck. He has no new diagnoses, but she recommended a thorough learning disability screening.

    That's the reader's digest answer.
    It sounds as if your husband was disappointed/shocked because the diagnoses of autism was confirmed, rather than dismissed. Perhaps he had been certain that autism had gone away or, better yet, was never there in the first place!

    With the persistent evidence of autism (as you already knew), now you will help your husband understand the present and long-term implications of this. Your son has complex needs. Does the evaluator have at-a-glance fact sheets on autism you and your husband could read together? Does she have suggestions for supplements, medications, alternative approaches to behavior? At 11-12, the impact of your husband on your son will only increase, so you have the important task of helping both of your men right now.

    Did he have any high subtests within the overall test? Did she give you any indication of your son's strengths? The learning disability evaluation may reveal more to you in this area and give you more guidance not only for everyday teaching but also for guiding him toward volunteering and eventual work opportunities.


    Regarding the overall IQ measure, if is any comfort my daughter Michelle's overall IQ places her even lower. With the new measures on the WISC-V, she scored in the 70s or "borderline intellectual disability" range. Like your son, her processing and memory scores pull everything downward. I would not worry too much about this except for the undeniable implication that expectations need to be realistic. This is especially true as our children approach teen and adult years with corresponding expectations of masterful executive function, social skills, and independent daily living. These are all greatly impacted by low processing and working memory. Your son will need a tremendous amount of support in areas taken for granted by many children and parents.

    When you're ready to boost those processing and memory abilities, tackle all of these with increased fervor:
    - Oral recitations to start each day
    - Memory work, including Scripture verses, math facts, poetry
    - His favorite individual brain games: crossword puzzles, mazes, dot-to-dots
    - Mentally active leisure: board games, card games, Dominoes. Let him be the scorekeeper. The other night when keeping score during our 1000-point tournament, my son said as if he could feel it, "This is helping my brain!"
    - Learn to type or learn to play an instrument. Unlike isolated brain exercises, this can strengthen the mind while teaching transferable skills.

    Don't give up. Your son is still young. The most important takeaway from the evaluation is that your son still needs your steady, strong help!

    Thank you for the updates. Hearing that you were in bed at 7:30 that night tells the story of what you are carrying -- and of what we all carry. But we are not alone. You and your family remain in our prayers.

    Leave a comment:


  • cherylswope
    replied
    Originally posted by Colomama View Post
    I finally have a quiet moment to recap the appointment and the week. It went well. As well as could be expected.

    The backstory is that dad doesn't believe in our son's diagnosis. As such, he hijacked this update to demand a full re-evaluation. Fine. Fine. We did an initial tele-health conference earlier in the month so that this new doc could get a grasp on whether we were in the ballpark or shopping around for a diagnosis. We made it past the first gate keeper and she requested an in-person follow-up. After multiple covid screenings to be allowed entry to the hospital, to registration, to outpatient care area....we were in.

    Even after his telehealth introduction, the son was non-plussed with the in person chat. Really had no interest in her or answering her questions. We were quickly separated, as I expected. The son went to another room for written testing. His dad and I were left in an empty patient room in silence with nothing to do. After 2 hours they were back. We were allowed a quick break to wander the hospital a bit and take bathroom breaks. Upon return, she gave his dad and I two questionaires each, an ASQ for teenagers and a social-emotional battery. The son went back to the other room for more hands-on testing; role playing and games. After about an hour we switched rooms. Now, it was parents turn with the doc. Took about an hour.

    She concluded our conversation with outright dismissing two possible concerns we had, bi-polar and oppositional defiant disorder. Whew. Then she clearly stated that she didn't need to review any documentation, notes, or tests to concur that our son does in fact have autism. She said she would review the notes and tests to determine a specific level. Right now, his standing diagnosis is level 2. We'll see what she determines. She expressed concern over organizational skills and that she may add to his diagnoses, but probably wouldn't eliminate any of his current ones. This was rather upsetting to his dad, as I guess he was aiming for total elimination of all diagnoses.

    We have our follow-up telehealth appointment middle of this week to discuss final results. I'm impressed with her quick turn around.

    Seems like a great doc. Said her goal was to figure out the best way to support us and her patient. She would come to the table with ideas of how to use his strengths to shore up his weaknesses. Her underlying idea is that no kid wants to act inappropriately or in unexpected ways and we need to find ways to encourage him along life's path.

    One thing I learned was more compassion. At the end of the day I was exhausted. I was in bed by 7:30. I realized this must be how he feels every single day. Trying so hard to keep it together that it's literally exhausting.

    Thank you for your prayers. I think it was Anita that posted a prayer or a quote by a Pope. I re-read it several times while sitting in my silent patient room. It was very reassuring to know that God has us in His hands and His will would be done.
    This is beautiful.

    Leave a comment:


  • Colomama
    replied
    So, the down and dirty answer after our follow-up. Nothing changed. She adjusted his level for autism from 2 to 1, but upon questioning said he was really in both and so she just went with the the lower level. If there was a 1.5, she would've chose that.

    His IQ was unchanged, sitting at 81, but his score was drug down by a very low processing speed (66) and a low short term memory (82). Same as three years ago. So the idea of throwing out those scores and sticking with his other averages puts him at an IQ of 91. I asked if she was willing to throw lower scores if she would do the same with his too two scores. She didn't like that at all.

    His father was disappointed/ shocked, I don't know, that his diagnosis stuck. He has no new diagnoses, but she recommended a thorough learning disability screening.

    That's the reader's digest answer.

    Leave a comment:


  • Anita
    replied
    Originally posted by Colomama View Post
    This....


    “Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence.”
    ~Pope St John Paul II

    It has kept my focus on Him through this and was incredibly reassuring. Thanks Anita!
    Aw, honey — you are so welcome ❤️ It spoke to *me*, which is why I quoted it.
    I’m out of town right now so I can’t spend much time responding, but I just wanted to reiterate that I’m here for the news and the prayers and the, “My husband doesn’t get it,” part. W has autism as well (not even a tiny surprise) and my hubby just... let’s say, “Deals with it in his own way.” He understands but then he doesn’t. It varies by behavior and mood. We don’t talk a lot about it. But, honestly, that’s okay. My son is a PERSON, not a diagnosis. And we take him as he is.

    Leave a comment:


  • Colomama
    replied
    This....


    “Have no fear of moving into the unknown. Simply step out fearlessly knowing that I am with you, therefore no harm can befall you; all is very, very well. Do this in complete faith and confidence.”
    ~Pope St John Paul II

    It has kept my focus on Him through this and was incredibly reassuring. Thanks Anita!

    Leave a comment:


  • Colomama
    replied
    I finally have a quiet moment to recap the appointment and the week. It went well. As well as could be expected.

    The backstory is that dad doesn't believe in our son's diagnosis. As such, he hijacked this update to demand a full re-evaluation. Fine. Fine. We did an initial tele-health conference earlier in the month so that this new doc could get a grasp on whether we were in the ballpark or shopping around for a diagnosis. We made it past the first gate keeper and she requested an in-person follow-up. After multiple covid screenings to be allowed entry to the hospital, to registration, to outpatient care area....we were in.

    Even after his telehealth introduction, the son was non-plussed with the in person chat. Really had no interest in her or answering her questions. We were quickly separated, as I expected. The son went to another room for written testing. His dad and I were left in an empty patient room in silence with nothing to do. After 2 hours they were back. We were allowed a quick break to wander the hospital a bit and take bathroom breaks. Upon return, she gave his dad and I two questionaires each, an ASQ for teenagers and a social-emotional battery. The son went back to the other room for more hands-on testing; role playing and games. After about an hour we switched rooms. Now, it was parents turn with the doc. Took about an hour.

    She concluded our conversation with outright dismissing two possible concerns we had, bi-polar and oppositional defiant disorder. Whew. Then she clearly stated that she didn't need to review any documentation, notes, or tests to concur that our son does in fact have autism. She said she would review the notes and tests to determine a specific level. Right now, his standing diagnosis is level 2. We'll see what she determines. She expressed concern over organizational skills and that she may add to his diagnoses, but probably wouldn't eliminate any of his current ones. This was rather upsetting to his dad, as I guess he was aiming for total elimination of all diagnoses.

    We have our follow-up telehealth appointment middle of this week to discuss final results. I'm impressed with her quick turn around.

    Seems like a great doc. Said her goal was to figure out the best way to support us and her patient. She would come to the table with ideas of how to use his strengths to shore up his weaknesses. Her underlying idea is that no kid wants to act inappropriately or in unexpected ways and we need to find ways to encourage him along life's path.

    One thing I learned was more compassion. At the end of the day I was exhausted. I was in bed by 7:30. I realized this must be how he feels every single day. Trying so hard to keep it together that it's literally exhausting.

    Thank you for your prayers. I think it was Anita that posted a prayer or a quote by a Pope. I re-read it several times while sitting in my silent patient room. It was very reassuring to know that God has us in His hands and His will would be done.

    Leave a comment:


  • enbateau
    replied
    Originally posted by Mom2mthj View Post

    Could you post the name of the book? I can’t currently find my notes from Sodalitas.
    Here you go! Grammar by Design, 2nd edition, by Cindy L. Vitto.

    The section in the back on usage and commonly mistaken words is worth the price alone for a high-school student to have in the home. Check used sites as well. I'm on Chapter 10, and among the examples, exercises that act like quizzes and the answer key, I have found it an incredibly useful course. I feel even more confident in my ability to grade and shape good writing, and I feel like I have a complete grasp of the grammar concepts presented in FFL.

    Did you catch the use of among? Prior to the book, I would have used "between."

    Leave a comment:


  • Mom2mthj
    replied
    Originally posted by enbateau View Post

    All.the.time.

    I have been blowing through the grammar book recommended by the Hillsdale language professor from Sodalitas, and I'm cringing at all of the careless errors I have made. My newest favorite error is a broad-reference "which," where the writer overextends the "which" to make it refer to the entire clause rather than simply the word before it. So guilty!

    That aside, I'm praying you ladies have the clarity of mind to respond to the challenges ahead of you. Parent and medical issues are no fun.
    Could you post the name of the book? I can’t currently find my notes from Sodalitas.

    Leave a comment:


  • enbateau
    replied
    I agree. I am appalled by my excellent score on the NCTE, Praxis I and II and how little grammar I had to take to be certified to teach upper school English. I am blessed to have been raised in a household where my grammar was corrected, I was read beautiful literature, and I had incredible high school English teachers. I'm eternally grateful to have found MP, for it set my feet on a path to incredible self-education. I surely make a lot of mistakes when I'm rushing, though.

    Again, apologies for the thread hijack.

    Leave a comment:


  • Anita
    replied
    Originally posted by enbateau View Post
    I have been blowing through the grammar book recommended by the Hillsdale language professor from Sodalitas, and I'm cringing at all of the careless errors I have made. My newest favorite error is a broad-reference "which," where the writer overextends the "which" to make it refer to the entire clause rather than simply the word before it. So guilty!
    My mother taught English for 40 years; I have an honor’s degree in English and I STILL did not realize all the errors I’ve been making. Correct grammar is not taught in school anymore. We are not at fault! 😂 I love learning right alongside my children. I’m sure I’m not alone.

    Thanks, everyone, for your prayers and well-wishes. ❤️

    Leave a comment:


  • cherylswope
    replied
    Originally posted by enbateau View Post
    That aside, I'm praying you ladies have the clarity of mind to respond to the challenges ahead of you.
    Yes to this!


    Praying you will be a great help to your dad, Anita. Thanks for the update. Safe travels --

    Leave a comment:


  • enbateau
    replied
    Originally posted by Anita View Post
    The funniest thing about the preceding paragraph is since I am now teaching the kids EGR, I hear myself saying, “‘Dad’ is not capitalized in, ‘She requires more care than my dad does,’ because it is preceded by a possessive noun.”. 🤪🤪🤪 MP is in my brain all the time!
    All.the.time.

    I have been blowing through the grammar book recommended by the Hillsdale language professor from Sodalitas, and I'm cringing at all of the careless errors I have made. My newest favorite error is a broad-reference "which," where the writer overextends the "which" to make it refer to the entire clause rather than simply the word before it. So guilty!

    That aside, I'm praying you ladies have the clarity of mind to respond to the challenges ahead of you. Parent and medical issues are no fun.

    Leave a comment:


  • Anita
    replied
    Originally posted by cherylswope View Post
    Anita, how is your father?

    And Colomama, how did everything go?
    Dad is home. He has a blind spot in one eye and cannot read (not his vision — his brain cannot make sense of written language). He forgets things after about 20 minutes. He’s having balance issues. He has mild aphasia. He’s tired. But he’s in good spirits and determined to fight. He’s starting rehab for reading and language soon. He will never drive again and is selling off his RV and his boat (a huge step as they love to drive to FL to see my uncle several times a year).

    I’m going home tomorrow to meet with his lawyer and discuss long term care and financial/final plans. That sounds morbid, but we’d rather do it while he’s relatively sound than have to figure it all out if, God forbid, he has another stroke. The biggest issue will be my mom (no comment). She requires more care than my dad does. So they are quite the pair. It’s a mess right now, but not an insurmountable one. We will get it all sorted.

    (The funniest thing about the preceding paragraph is since I am now teaching the kids EGR, I hear myself saying, “‘Dad’ is not capitalized in, ‘She requires more care than my dad does,’ because it is preceded by a possessive noun.”. 🤪🤪🤪 MP is in my brain all the time!)

    Leave a comment:


  • Tulip
    replied
    Colomama Just saw this. How did you kid tolerate the assessment? Is this one of those that require you to wait several weeks for the report?

    anita, sorry to hear about that.

    prayers for peace and love to you both.

    Leave a comment:

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