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Perfectionism?

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    Perfectionism?

    Hi ladies,

    I'm not sure if the is the right spot for this question or not, but here goes! DD (8yo, only child, going into 3rd Grade) is generally bright and happy yet struggles with perfectionism.

    This tendency (probably largely inherited from me!) can create a lot of BIG emotions as well as reassurance-seeking around school time. I love my DD and teaching, but trying to "manage" her emotions during school is exhausting for me, and doesn't seem to necessarily be helping her.

    Any advice or suggestions, assuming this is the right place to post?

    Thank you so much!

    #2
    There was a really great discussion on this recently here, and it received a lot of great feedback from our community.

    First of all, hugs.

    Second of all, don't be afraid to be a broken record of detached encouragement: "Look at you making an o that stays in the downstairs!" "Good job spelling that big word correctly!" "I see you remembered that apostrophe-s. Way to go, hun!" I'll even praise something small like, "I like how you lined up your row of Latin words. Do they all match the endings we learned in recitation? Let's look at the board together." If the handwriting is sloppy, "I bet you can write that again where I can see that it's an e, not an i."

    I always praise effort, but I never offer false praise for product that doesn't meet the standard. When you are doing both, there should be no lack of positive encouragement. That way, when success really happens, there is singing, dancing, rejoicing and meaningful praise. So many times the perfectionist will revile at false praise. Stick to true praise.

    Another note I'll make (outside of medical anxiety treatment you can bring up with your physician or therapist) is that Memoria Press isn't a program you stick in front of a child and expect completion. The guides aren't checking recall of what you read. MP is a means by which the parent leads learning and understanding of each subject or text. We teach, we model, we complete examples together. In the primary grades, we are developing answers together in complete sentences and writing them in a visible place for the student to copy. This should take a lot of the anxiety out of school time. As homeschoolers, we have ample time to redress any topics that are not fully comprehended, and we have the luxury of hanging out for a week (or two) to review, rewrite, read and make connections. This model is the antithesis of anxiety-provoking. Both of my kids are lightly prone to this, and Memoria Press' approach smoothed over so much of that.

    Mama of 2, teacher of 3

    SY 21/22
    5A w/ SFL & CC Narrative class
    MP1

    Completed MPK, MP1 Math & Enrichment, MP2, 3A, 4A
    SC B, SC C, SC1 (Phonics/Math), SC2's Writing Book 1

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by enbateau View Post
      ... Memoria Press isn't a program you stick in front of a child and expect completion. The guides aren't checking recall of what you read. MP is a means by which the parent leads learning and understanding of each subject or text. We teach, we model, we complete examples together. In the primary grades, we are developing answers together in complete sentences and writing them in a visible place for the student to copy. This should take a lot of the anxiety out of school time. ... This model is the antithesis of anxiety-provoking. Both of my kids are lightly prone to this, and Memoria Press' approach smoothed over so much of that.
      Yes! Well said.

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by enbateau View Post
        There was a really great discussion on this recently here, and it received a lot of great feedback from our community.

        First of all, hugs.

        Second of all, don't be afraid to be a broken record of detached encouragement: "Look at you making an o that stays in the downstairs!" "Good job spelling that big word correctly!" "I see you remembered that apostrophe-s. Way to go, hun!" I'll even praise something small like, "I like how you lined up your row of Latin words. Do they all match the endings we learned in recitation? Let's look at the board together." If the handwriting is sloppy, "I bet you can write that again where I can see that it's an e, not an i."

        I always praise effort, but I never offer false praise for product that doesn't meet the standard. When you are doing both, there should be no lack of positive encouragement. That way, when success really happens, there is singing, dancing, rejoicing and meaningful praise. So many times the perfectionist will revile at false praise. Stick to true praise.

        Another note I'll make (outside of medical anxiety treatment you can bring up with your physician or therapist) is that Memoria Press isn't a program you stick in front of a child and expect completion. The guides aren't checking recall of what you read. MP is a means by which the parent leads learning and understanding of each subject or text. We teach, we model, we complete examples together. In the primary grades, we are developing answers together in complete sentences and writing them in a visible place for the student to copy. This should take a lot of the anxiety out of school time. As homeschoolers, we have ample time to redress any topics that are not fully comprehended, and we have the luxury of hanging out for a week (or two) to review, rewrite, read and make connections. This model is the antithesis of anxiety-provoking. Both of my kids are lightly prone to this, and Memoria Press' approach smoothed over so much of that.
        Originally posted by cherylswope View Post

        Yes! Well said.
        Ladies, I can't tell you how much this both helped and encouraged me. Thank you!! I ordered 3rd Grade today and am so excited. Thank you again.

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