Update and question

[Miah]

The Sprout got the lead role in his community theater program last fall. They did A Dickens of a Christmas, and he was Scrooge. His singing voice has improved almost exponentially since last year. He is the naked emperor from The Emperor's New Clothes this semester. (He'll wear a union suit for that effect in the play.) I am very proud of him on this, and he is a really good actor.

This was just after the play was over.


Tonight at the first practice, the director hadn't decided who would get the top three boy roles, so she asked them to rank the roles 1,2,3 in order of preference. I had talked to him about giving other kids a chance to be the lead, and not be upset if he wasn't. Another proud moment: he ranked the emperor as 1, but said he would be happy with any of them (And meant it).

She asked the three boys to come up and read lines for the emperor, and was explaining in the scene that the emperor was bored and wanting to try on new clothes because fashion was the most important thing to him, but she was pretty sure that was something none of them could relate to. (It wasn't in a mean way at all, just boys.) My son in his over sized t shirt, sweatpants, and cowboy boots (I did at least get him to fix his inside out and backwards shirt before we went), said, "That's why it's called acting!" And he killed it. They all ended up with the role they ranked 1st, so everyone was happy.



At home we are having a very fragile time, though. We can only do two, on good days, three hours of school work a day. He's ten and a half now, doing SC4 with R&S4. We are in various places in various subjects, but around halfway through. He is in tears practically daily, and some of the same concerns we've had with him for years are still here. He still has great difficulty with sequencing and remembering strings of info and is very inconsistent. His ability to get information from auditory sources actually seems to have decreased. He has started sleep walking and having migraines.

I really want a good neuropsych eval done on him. Last year I requested one from our normal testing and psychology place. What I actually received was the most anemic looking report I have ever received in 16 years of kids being tested. I got more info the day of the testing than in the written report. When I asked for more I got a somewhat condescending explanation that that tester never gives a full written report lest they be misused, and it was really only a basic IQ test and achievement testing anyway.

We have have gotten him back on the psychologist's regular schedule. Usually it only takes a week or two to get back to regular visits, but this time it was a month to get in to catch up and a month to get on the regular schedule. Still, that's in the works.

We also have his annual appointment with his developmental pediatrician coming up soon. I want the kind of info I see people here getting. I am not sure I communicated my wants clearly enough last year

My real question here is: What would some key phrases be to get the kind of testing I am wanting?

I'll take him somewhere else if I have to, but I still want to make sure I am posing the right questions.

[cherylswope]

Miah, your theater update brought tears. I LOVE his response about acting and especially that he loves it so much and is doing well with it. Between the hippotherapy and "theatertherapy" you have done so much to help his overall well-being.

It is this same well-being we seek with his academics. If he can work 2-3 hours daily, that is plenty, and we do not want daily tears. What are his favorite parts of SC 4? If he has 1 or 2, include only these with his math and whatever language arts he dislikes least. That might be CS:LA or writing through the Literature Guides. Try to keep Prima, even if you need to scribe this or cover it orally. Math, Latin which includes English grammar, and a little writing may be sufficient for now.

If he likes to play, draw, build, dramatize, or listen to something in his room, you could find the Lit selections on audio book, play the SC 4 poetry CD, or play the Mozart selections at those times. He is getting memory work and some literature through his theater, so you can "count" all of those hours.

As for the evaluation, yes, here are some tips. Feel free to change the wording to sound more like yourself:

1. "We were disappointed with our last evaluation because we did not receive a thorough written report with pertinent suggestions for his academics, his psychological well-being, and his future. Will you be able to provide us with all of this in a written form with detailed explanations that you will go over with me?"

2. "I'm interested in comprehensive testing to include intelligence testing with an explanation of all subtest scores and their implications, an achievement test, visual and auditory and language processing assessments, and testing to help us know all of his relative strengths to direct us toward encouraging him in these areas for his future."

3. "We have a family history of 'xyz', especially his two brothers who were diagnosed with 'abc'. My son suffered what one might call trauma during his brothers' difficult years, so I would also appreciate some assessment regarding his anxiety and overall mental health."

That's a start. Keep focusing on the things that bring him joy and delight, even though he must continue to work hard in his academics. For those, paring down to the basics & his favorites may help. You can always add things back in after the pattern of frustration and discouragement is broken, or you can save those extras for summer "light school."

[Colomama]

Chiming in to say, my son is nearly 11 and also working through SC4, but with grade 3 math. 2-3 hours of schoolwork is our limit as well.

[EmilyJ]

What a great picture, and congratulations to your son for his attitude and roles in theater!

I’ll just add another comment regarding time...my SC 4 girl, 10 next month, can only do about 2 hours of work max as well, with breaks of course. She can do 20 minutes of actual good work, then needs a break, then we work again, etc. On her down time she listens to audio books or music and draws in a quiet room, or bounces a ball outside. I keep wishing we could add more, but if I try she falls apart on everything and progress stalls across the board. So we go back to the small, slow progress that is building patience in me.

[Miah]

Are you getting an an entire week's work done in two hours a day?

We only get math, handwriting, spelling, and literature, sometimes recitation in two hours. Is that about typical?

[EmilyJ]

Are you getting an an entire week's work done in two hours a day?

We only get math, handwriting, spelling, and literature, sometimes recitation in two hours. Is that about typical?

We can get a lot done in 2- 2 1/2 hours. But I homeschool year round because we can’t get it all done in that time, so I just extend our year. It’s beneficial anyway for my daughter because too much time off and she goes backwards (forgets things, loses fluency in reading etc). Her weakest area is reading, spelling and grammar, so I block 45 min for the literature and grammar studies. We do Latin in about 15 min. Math takes 20...and no more, if we don’t do as much as I wanted, that’s ok, because we take the whole year for math, too. But I ask my daughter to give me 20 of her best attitude and attention. I have found that asking that of her and her knowing we won’t go longer is actually more productive than spending longer with her not actually trying her best. Same goes for all her skills subjects. It’s something new we started this year because she has had attitude/behavior problems for a long time. It’s working for us!! She’s advancing better than she has before in less time. Spelling is 20-30 minutes. Handwriting 10 minutes. That brings us to about 2 hours. We do memory work as a family and read alouds (her myths) as a family, so that is separate from her “school time.” Her mammals studies and states and capitals studies are saved for days when she’s in a good mood, and most weeks we can get those in and she enjoys them and most of the time is willing to do them even beyond 2 hours of school. It’s the skills subjects that kill us and that she needs the most work in, so I “time” those.

I do capatalize on her love of audio books: D’aulaire’s Greek Myths is on audible and so are many other excellent books, so she gets enrichment in that way even if we don’t always get to it everyday “officially.” And bonus for me: she thinks it’s a reward!

[Miah]

Our developmental pediatrician appointment is coming up Thursday. We had a counseling appointment last Thursday, and during it, he got so upset over something that happened last month that she ended up getting the doctor to come in who increased the dosage of his main medication. Then he continued to be so upset that she came very close to sending him to the ER for pysch admittance.

It was an upsetting event, but honestly I am a little glad they saw that as it wasn't even the worst he's been in the last month, but before I wasn't sure they really believed it was that bad. He hasn't had an episode like that in the office before. She mentioned it is starting to look like possible OCD.

So far the increased dosage hasn't helped. I know it takes a couple of weeks to fully set in, but I wish it was faster. We had a good weekend, so I got our school work out yesterday. It took 2 1/2 hours for him to calm down enough to start, and even then he cried the entire time he worked on the lesson. I tried to get him to just drop it, but at that point he couldn't let go to not do it, either.

Wish me luck. I'm angling for referrals to the sleep clinic and possibly neurology along with the proper IQ and academic testing.

[cherylswope]

Fwiw, we have found that with most medications 3 days brings a noticeable improvement but 3 weeks for sustained improvement. Prior to the 3 days we lighten the load for everyone's sake.

If he has a favorite light-day activity for Wed (tomorrow), it might be good to defer to it. You could start the day with the usual Opening but then take a walk or go to the library or work on his Emperor lines or watch a good movie if this calms him.

Then both of you might be more rested for Thursday's appt. Your call, of course. Sometimes a little bit of the usual routine can be calming and less stressful than something different. You know him best.

It does sound good that they witnessed his difficulties. They probably take you more seriously now! As you say, you can take advantage of this and get as much information as you can. He's in those preteen years and will need support. I hope you get some rest. It can all be exhausting!

Praying for your young thespian --