Sort of OT: Which student "owns" which books?

[alihuyoung]

Do any of you hope to pass down books to your kids when they move out of the house? If so, which kid will get high book? My girls have been in a serious Little House phase (for literally their whole lives) and my nearly 6 year old has mentioned how she will take our Little House books with her if she ever moves out (she's currently undecided on whether that will happen). So, naturally, big sister chimed in with "But those are mine, I read them first!" I'll admit I also chimed in with that sentiment, only I didn't say it out loud.

You see where I'm going with this, right? I was allowed to take whatever books I wanted when I moved out, perks of being the only girl and most voracious reader. Most of the books had been given to me or purchased by me anyway. But as of right now nearly all of our family's books are group property. I've considered buying nicer sets of favorite books for Christmas, but that seems a bit excessive and expensive. But I would really love for them to each have their own Little House set, Narnia, etc to start their own libraries one day.

Anyway, I'd love to hear what other families do!

[Anita]

Re: Sort of OT: Which student "owns" which books?

This is so cute. How old are your kids again?

I vote you buy paperback versions for the less-entitled-to-own-the-nicest-books kids; divvy up the rest accordingly; but leave the really great, really nice, books that everyone fights over at your house. They can visit their books when they come home. (Although, Little House may get passed over for another book or two by the time they’re off to grad school.)

[KF2000]

Re: Sort of OT: Which student "owns" which books?

Hi Ali!

We do couple of things. The biggest is that we always include at least one book for Christmas and birthdays (usually a couple for Christmas). So that helps with the "this book is mine" sort of thing, even though they know full well that they are expected to let others read it. And it has worked out really nicely. My oldest got a lot of the "standard" books that I knew we would want for our family, and then as younger ones come along we have branched out a bit into new authors that I did not know about or that are more recent. And it helps that they each like reading different things, so the books they get as gifts get to be tailored to each person specifically, which also helps with the sense of knowing whose books they are. For instance, I have one daughter who is getting the Madeline L'Engle series (A Wrinkle it Time...) for Christmas this year; another who is getting a few more Redwall books, and another who is getting some more Moffats books. Whether they will actually still want to take these with them when they leave is a good question, but they can if they want to.

The other thing that started to develop over the last couple of years is that when my oldest was 14 she started working for some friends who had a large farm with a store on the property. She would usually put her work checks straight into the bank for college, but occasionally she would ask to use some - to buy books, of course! So she has a shelf or two in her room of books she has purchased herself that are definitely hers to take. She loves Dickens and Chesterton, so there is a lot of that vein of book, but with some Austen and Bronte mixed in too. I think her shelf is the one I will miss raiding the most!

Realizing she is (hopefully) off to college in a year and a half, I can see that she will want those books, but will have no trouble leaving our Little House or Narnia books here at home. If she wants those for her family, she would probably want to start with new copies anyway. Even though our kids are very good with their books, they are naturally starting to wear after so many read-throughs.

AMDG,
Sarah

[Mom2mthj]

Re: Sort of OT: Which student "owns" which books?

Ahhh....my kids are too young, but I see this happening with books and games. My kids often get both for Christmas and birthdays. As the youngest by a lot (who is also now living in my childhood home), i found my siblings didn't take too much with them when they first left home. I used the stuff they left behind, but it wasn't mine. My dad and I did discover John King used books when I was in middle school which we both scoured on a regular basis...four floors of an old warehouse filled with used books on just about every subject imaginable. Those books, including my entire set of the little house series in hardcover and Nancy Drew's from the 30's, and the entire Anne of Green Gables series are primarily what I have kept into adulthood. I also kept my Paddington books that my brother bought me for my 7th birthday. These are all mine, but I let my kids use them.

For the most part I have tried to allow gift purchases of toy and games to remain their own. Periodically they have room purges and then books, etc they no longer want are passed down to the next kid. Ownership claims cease at that point. Books purchased for school work are mine and stored on the family book shelf, but if they want the entire series (generally after having read the whole thing from the library) we will invest in a nice set for the family. I think by the time they are settled into adult life it will pan out who appreciates each set the most. If an older kid wanted to take a set of say little house books I would probably let them take it and plan on buying replacements for the other kids. Unless it was an explicit gift or purchased with their money, the "I read it first" could get problematic quickly.

If one has to pick a problem, this is a good one to have...unless the book has gone out of print ;-)

[Mary]

Re: Sort of OT: Which student "owns" which books?

We have a library overflowing with beautiful books and I do hope to pass them down to my children. Since there are three kiddos and I do not now (or ever plan to) own each title in triplicate, I figured they will work it out when they get older.

In my house growing up, I was the bookworm. I had amassed a collection of great books that I could not take with me to college because I had no room. Then I moved to NYC, where my apartment was even smaller than my college dorm. (Not kidding.) Sadly, those books were stashed in Mom's attic and by the time I was able to collect them, most were in various stages of rot and/or mold damage. A few survived - mainly the Scholastic hardcover children's books my grandmother got for me each Christmas. The softcover novels and storybooks didn't stand a chance.

I tell this story because I think about it often. I know that when my children leave the nest they will most likely not be able to take their books with them. I assume that my library will continue to look much as it does for some time. Each kiddo does have a bookshelf in his/her room that contains their own personal books either purchased themselves or received as gifts. Those belong to them - I won't mess with those books. But the books in the family library room are up for grabs...mostly.

I did purchase 3 copies of The Bumper Book and 3 sets of Uncle Albert's Bedtime Stories. I also have 3 autographed copies of The Green Ember. I got to meet the author at a convention and my children adore that book! Those are cherished family traditions and things I want each of my children to have. My dream is to present each child with a copy/set upon the birth of their first child. But that's a dream and I'm sure it won't end up being the misty, watercolored scene I have etched in my head. *weary laugh*

Having written this, I guess I'm not really sure how this will work out. I'm sure their tastes will change over time and the books I associate most with each child may not be the book s/he cherishes as much as I do. I'm learning that my memories are not my children's and that the things they like at one point in time are soon forgotten by them - but not me! I'll just pray they don't get into a cat fight...and that I'm able to let go of these books I've come to love myself!

[VAmom]

Re: Sort of OT: Which student "owns" which books?

I also grew up in a house full of books. My parents moved across the country while I was still in college and my siblings were also either in college or high school. They gave away almost all of our children’s books. I ended up with the few favorites because I stored in plastic tubs in a storage unit. My husband grew up a librarian for a mother and had every book a child could dream of. Once we had children, he and his sister split the books taking their favorites. It was a civilized event. I know that life will have many unpredictated turns so I’m playing this one by ear.

[alihuyoung]

Re: Sort of OT: Which student "owns" which books?

Thanks for all the replies and stories It's fun to hear about how your book collections started and how they continue to grow. It looks like I need to start being more intentional about gifting books to specific children, ie buying more books. Such a good problem to have.

[DiannaKennedy]

Re: Sort of OT: Which student "owns" which books?

I also grew up in a house full of books. My parents moved across the country while I was still in college and my siblings were also either in college or high school. They gave away almost all of our children’s books. I ended up with the few favorites because I stored in plastic tubs in a storage unit. My husband grew up a librarian for a mother and had every book a child could dream of. Once we had children, he and his sister split the books taking their favorites. It was a civilized event. I know that life will have many unpredictated turns so I’m playing this one by ear.

I'm planning on taking an approach much like this one ..... letting the children decide, and then, if there's someone longing for a book that a sibling chose, I'll purchase another copy. For books that we've studied with MP, I'm ending up with 3 copies, because they need them to work through the course.

For family picture book favorites, I'm going to have to end up replacing some (Seven Silly Eaters, I'm looking at you), and then we'll do something similar. I'll make a list of ones I want to pass on, and also a list of selections that I plan to buy as gifts for my grandchildren. (Seven Silly Eaters, Dear Zoo, Jan Brett books, etc)

I'm going to be the book grandma, for certain. <3