So, this last Sunday we were in church and my son Z, age 4, wanted to know what number hymn we were doing. I was fumbling about and didn't tell him, so he started screaming. We went out for a pep talk and came back and the next hymn came along and I told him the number. But he couldn't find it before the song started (never mind that he isn't going to read along) and he lost it. I was barely able to get his squalling self to the privacy of the ladies room and it took thirty minutes to quell the mini rebellion and get back to church. Had I been standing on the outside, I would have said to myself, he thinks the world should stop because he can't find page 372? What a spoilt little only child that must be. Except he is number three of four!
Z has from birth been my most challenging child (personality type: I!N!T!J!). But he is far from the only issue. I got a chore chart and I am attempting to drag son N, age 6, into the world of work (wiping the dining room table) but he is resisting, at very high decibels, six months later. I am afraid that being strict does not come naturally to me and my hubby is if anything less inclined to hold the line, especially if it involves screaming. I am working very hard to be consistent but it feels like every point is a death match. (See story above. A thirty minute tantrum. Because the song started too fast. We have done the same song and dance over such fun topics as being willing to open the Velcro on shoes.). I am particularly struggling because in a month we are going to be taking a trip with my in-laws. Z's behavior mortifies them, and they quietly believe that preschool would have done wonders toward making him more flexible and cooperative. Honestly, his behavior is mortifying, though I doubt their preschool thesis. (My family is full of adult INTJs and your don't bring them around with peer pressure.).
Oddly, school is our best part of the day. We do LCC with lots of MP materials and they are fairly natural students and outside some weeping over copywork, the day often goes quite smoothly. But, for the moment it feels like homeschool socialization is raising up prima Donna misfits rather than model citizens. And from the outside it looks like strict parents have this all together. They decide on the law, enforce the law and small people see the futility of their ways and jump on board. Meanwhile, my kids throw themselves at known fences with much hysterical crying. And I am getting tired. Tired that ever single ounce of civilized social behavior is bought with hours of miserable enforcement. Tired of the embarrassment that my children can't handle little things like being polite enough to greet people because I haven't worked myself up to the effort yet of making them.
So, this forum seems to have some parents that manage a pretty well run ship. What do you tell yourself? Do you have drama queens? I am not sure I can manage total consistency but I am working on being dogged about my requirements. Will this really bear fruit eventually? How do you pick your battles? How do you subdue the rounds of tears? Have you had a child that knows the consequence, believes the consequence, but just has to anyway? And what do you tell yourself when all those long term goals of homeschooling still seem mythic rather than actually bearing fruit?
Lena
Z has from birth been my most challenging child (personality type: I!N!T!J!). But he is far from the only issue. I got a chore chart and I am attempting to drag son N, age 6, into the world of work (wiping the dining room table) but he is resisting, at very high decibels, six months later. I am afraid that being strict does not come naturally to me and my hubby is if anything less inclined to hold the line, especially if it involves screaming. I am working very hard to be consistent but it feels like every point is a death match. (See story above. A thirty minute tantrum. Because the song started too fast. We have done the same song and dance over such fun topics as being willing to open the Velcro on shoes.). I am particularly struggling because in a month we are going to be taking a trip with my in-laws. Z's behavior mortifies them, and they quietly believe that preschool would have done wonders toward making him more flexible and cooperative. Honestly, his behavior is mortifying, though I doubt their preschool thesis. (My family is full of adult INTJs and your don't bring them around with peer pressure.).
Oddly, school is our best part of the day. We do LCC with lots of MP materials and they are fairly natural students and outside some weeping over copywork, the day often goes quite smoothly. But, for the moment it feels like homeschool socialization is raising up prima Donna misfits rather than model citizens. And from the outside it looks like strict parents have this all together. They decide on the law, enforce the law and small people see the futility of their ways and jump on board. Meanwhile, my kids throw themselves at known fences with much hysterical crying. And I am getting tired. Tired that ever single ounce of civilized social behavior is bought with hours of miserable enforcement. Tired of the embarrassment that my children can't handle little things like being polite enough to greet people because I haven't worked myself up to the effort yet of making them.
So, this forum seems to have some parents that manage a pretty well run ship. What do you tell yourself? Do you have drama queens? I am not sure I can manage total consistency but I am working on being dogged about my requirements. Will this really bear fruit eventually? How do you pick your battles? How do you subdue the rounds of tears? Have you had a child that knows the consequence, believes the consequence, but just has to anyway? And what do you tell yourself when all those long term goals of homeschooling still seem mythic rather than actually bearing fruit?
Lena
Why do we need to be "brought around"? Maybe this child is very different in personality from you and that makes it difficult for you to understand each other? Just wondering since you mentioned personality type twice as a negative.
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