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Repeating 2nd Grade, Maybe

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    Repeating 2nd Grade, Maybe

    We are considering repeating 2nd Grade with my youngest. She is attending cottage school for the first time this year as a 3rd grader. Being in the classroom has magnified a few struggles. She is a very slow reader and did not grab onto reading quickly, we just sat for about 20 minutes reading one page in Farmer Boy. Spelling has always been difficult. She can write in cursive, but she’s very slow about both cursive and printing. We didn’t even attempt Prima Latina. My question is not about whether or not to repeat, though you’re welcome to weigh in. I want help discussing it with her. I mentioned very gently that more practice in reading and writing could boost her confidence and that repeating 2nd grade would give her that practice. She cried and tried to persuade me that she could handle 3rd grade. It’s really difficult and humbling as a homeschool mom to come to the conclusion that your child needs to repeat a grade or course. It’s heartbreaking to see her so upset about it. Any wisdom on how to best explain and turn it into a positive for her?
    Joyfully, Courtney
    DS13, DS12, DS10, DD8

    #2
    She's 7, so that's really young. I would absolutely recommend doing MP2 with plenty of deliberate overteaching where there are gaps. Has she done the whole MP2 curriculum, or are you transitioning from another curriculum? I think that would determine what modifications you could make.

    My daughter did MP2 at 7. It is the normal age a child would enter 2nd grade in any public or private school.
    Mama to 2, Married 17 years

    SY 19/20
    DD 8-3A
    DS 5-SC C

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by enbateau View Post
      She's 7, so that's really young. I would absolutely recommend doing MP2 with plenty of deliberate overteaching where there are gaps. Has she done the whole MP2 curriculum, or are you transitioning from another curriculum? I think that would determine what modifications you could make.

      My daughter did MP2 at 7. It is the normal age a child would enter 2nd grade in any public or private school.
      She turned 8 in March, I need to change my signature. Yes, we went through MP2, but laid aside Prima Latina. She’s only used MP from Jr K forward.
      Joyfully, Courtney
      DS13, DS12, DS10, DD8

      Comment


        #4
        Hey Courtney!

        What are your plans for cottage school? Would this change mean that she would continue with it but be put down into the second grade class? Or would it mean she just doesn’t do it at all this year?

        Apart from that question, thoughts that come to mind are to consider that her emotions are really going to matter for how good of a change this will be for her. You still need to maintain your decision-making authority as the parent, but I would try to encourage her buy-in to the plan by starting from scratch with her to come up with a plan that you both agree to. You will have your must haves, but find out from her what hers are. Maybe she was really excited to start Greek Myths and really doesn’t want to lose that. Maybe instead of a complete redo, you suffer through having a bit of a mish-mash for a year, some things for remediation, but some things new to appease her too, you know? You put a piece in place, then let her put one in, then back to you, etc.

        AMDG,
        Sarah
        2019-2020 - 9th Year with MP
        DD, 18, Homeschool grad; Art major/philosophy minor
        DS, 16
        DD, 14
        DD, 12
        DD, 10
        DD, 7.5
        DD, 5.5
        +DS+
        DS, 18 months

        Comment


          #5
          Originally posted by KF2000 View Post
          Hey Courtney!

          What are your plans for cottage school? Would this change mean that she would continue with it but be put down into the second grade class? Or would it mean she just doesn’t do it at all this year?

          Apart from that question, thoughts that come to mind are to consider that her emotions are really going to matter for how good of a change this will be for her. You still need to maintain your decision-making authority as the parent, but I would try to encourage her buy-in to the plan by starting from scratch with her to come up with a plan that you both agree to. You will have your must haves, but find out from her what hers are. Maybe she was really excited to start Greek Myths and really doesn’t want to lose that. Maybe instead of a complete redo, you suffer through having a bit of a mish-mash for a year, some things for remediation, but some things new to appease her too, you know? You put a piece in place, then let her put one in, then back to you, etc.

          AMDG,
          Sarah
          Hi Sarah!

          I would like her to stay at cottage school, which I think means we would be all in for 2nd Grade. It doesn’t really allow much wiggle room for a mash up. When talking with her, she just keeps saying I want to be in 3rd grade with my friends. She’s only been in class with these children twice, her reasoning is not sound and I don’t expect it to be. I think she must already be aware of the stigma of being held back, though I’m not sure how. I dislike that language. I much prefer saying repeating because we need to continue practicing the skills learned to get a firm foundation.

          Some of the difficulty for her is simply transitioning into a classroom. For two years, her older brothers have gone to cottage school and she has had me all to herself on Mondays. That coupled with being overwhelmed by the academics has made for a very weepy girl at school. I had to go visit yesterday to help calm her down. She does have success at different times in the school day, she likes all of her teachers, and she’s happy and bubbly talking about school at pickup. As I’m typing it occurred to me that being an 8 year old girl may have something to do with all the emotions. This is new territory for me, she is my first and only girl after three boys.
          Joyfully, Courtney
          DS13, DS12, DS10, DD8

          Comment


            #6
            Not that anecdotal evidence from strangers will help her, but we've repeated quite a few things in my house and we encourage that at HLN as well. We have entire grade repeaters as well as individual course repeaters. We also try to place students so that flourishing and mastery are real possibilities rather than simply treading water year after year. That's no fun for anyone: student, parents, or teachers. Could you find out from the HLS folks how common that is there? She may be one of many who are going to double-dip on a grade this year to give themselves more runway for mastery in the future. If you are dead set on a repeat then it's never going to be easier than right now, only harder (you know this--she may not). Praying for you friend!

            ETA: Another approach: discuss what skills she really needs to work on this year and then how that can be accomplished through the Second Grade Core. Some things will be ridiculously easy and that's a win. What were her favorite things from last year that she could look forward to revisiting? Does she know anyone in the second grade class she'd ilke to become better friends with? If I've extrapolated her age correctly on her current path she'd turn 18 in March of her senior year. If you slow down by one year now that's 18-19 in her senior year OR she could graduate after completing roughly MP 11th (which is A FABULOUS education, I assure you) at 18 and a few months and go on to school or take a gap year or whatever. By that age everyone is going very different paths. You aren't nailing yourself down to only one option if you repeat now.
            Last edited by pickandgrin; 09-10-2019, 02:47 PM.
            Festina lentē,
            Jessica P

            SY2019-2020 · 8th MP Year
            @ Home, HLN, & MPOA
            S · 10th, MPOA Henle 3
            D · 8th
            D · 5th
            S · 2nd

            Highlands Latin Nashville Cottage School

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by pickandgrin View Post
              Not that anecdotal evidence from strangers will help her, but we've repeated quite a few things in my house and we encourage that at HLN as well. We have entire grade repeaters as well as individual course repeaters. We also try to place students so that flourishing and mastery are real possibilities rather than simply treading water year after year. That's no fun for anyone: student, parents, or teachers. Could you find out from the HLS folks how common that is there? She may be one of many who are going to double-dip on a grade this year to give themselves more runway for mastery in the future. If you are dead set on a repeat then it's never going to be easier than right now, only harder (you know this--she may not). Praying for you friend!

              ETA: Another approach: discuss what skills she really needs to work on this year and then how that can be accomplished through the Second Grade Core. Some things will be ridiculously easy and that's a win. What were her favorite things from last year that she could look forward to revisiting? Does she know anyone in the second grade class she'd ilke to become better friends with? If I've extrapolated her age correctly on her current path she'd turn 18 in March of her senior year. If you slow down by one year now that's 18-19 in her senior year OR she could graduate after completing roughly MP 11th (which is A FABULOUS education, I assure you) at 18 and a few months and go on to school or take a gap year or whatever. By that age everyone is going very different paths. You aren't nailing yourself down to only one option if you repeat now.
              Thanks, Jessica! She really enjoys enrichment and crafts and we didn’t get to all of it, so she’d definitely be up for that again. There is a sweet little Kennedy in 2nd that she loves to play with, and she was bummed when she realized they wouldn’t be in class together this year.

              I agree, repeating now is definitely easier than later. I’m not at all concerned about graduation dates, admittedly there was a time when I got hung up on that, but no more. I’d be happy to have her with me for 13 years vs the traditional 12. 🥰. Or like you said, graduation at 11th Grade MP will be great!
              Joyfully, Courtney
              DS13, DS12, DS10, DD8

              Comment


                #8
                DiannaKennedy The Kennedy is your silver bullet!!! Work it, you two.
                Festina lentē,
                Jessica P

                SY2019-2020 · 8th MP Year
                @ Home, HLN, & MPOA
                S · 10th, MPOA Henle 3
                D · 8th
                D · 5th
                S · 2nd

                Highlands Latin Nashville Cottage School

                Comment


                  #9
                  Originally posted by RunnerJoy View Post

                  Hi Sarah!

                  I would like her to stay at cottage school, which I think means we would be all in for 2nd Grade. It doesn’t really allow much wiggle room for a mash up. When talking with her, she just keeps saying I want to be in 3rd grade with my friends. She’s only been in class with these children twice, her reasoning is not sound and I don’t expect it to be. I think she must already be aware of the stigma of being held back, though I’m not sure how. I dislike that language. I much prefer saying repeating because we need to continue practicing the skills learned to get a firm foundation.

                  Some of the difficulty for her is simply transitioning into a classroom. For two years, her older brothers have gone to cottage school and she has had me all to herself on Mondays. That coupled with being overwhelmed by the academics has made for a very weepy girl at school. I had to go visit yesterday to help calm her down. She does have success at different times in the school day, she likes all of her teachers, and she’s happy and bubbly talking about school at pickup. As I’m typing it occurred to me that being an 8 year old girl may have something to do with all the emotions. This is new territory for me, she is my first and only girl after three boys.
                  I know you and I have already talked, but I wanted to chime in, for others who might be reading later and find themselves in a similar situation.

                  When we sent our twins off to the Cottage School, I did a LOT of handwringing. We were beginning to explore evaluations for our boys, and I wasn't sure where to place them. In some respects, they were ahead, others behind, and some, right on track. I decided to place them (much to my husband's chagrin) in the second grade.

                  Hindsight being 20/20, it was ABSOLUTELY the best decision. I THINK my guys likely could have handled third grade work, but it would have been an uphill slog all year long. I don't think climbing the mountain is a good idea the first year out of the gate.

                  I don't think you (and other mommas out there) should overlook the value of shoring up confidence in our children. By starting out with a slower on ramp for my boys, I've allowed them to grow in maturity and confidence until they shine. CS is a challenge, but not drudgery.

                  Downshifting for your sweet S is a good move. Ease her in slowly, let her enjoy herself, and work on the skills she needs to shore up for next year. Plus, she can hang with M.
                  Plans for 2019-20

                  DD1 - 24 - College Grad and rocking her own bakery business
                  DD2 - 13 - 8A Louisville HLS Cottage School and MPOA
                  DS3 - 11 - 4A Louisville HLS Cottage School
                  DS4 - 11 - 4A Louisville HLS Cottage School
                  DD5 - 7 - MP2, Louisville HLS Cottage School
                  DS6 - 5 - MP K

                  [url]www.thekennedyadventures.com/all-about-our-memoria-press-homeschool[/url]

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Courtney,
                    It sounds like you have come to a decision for your girl, and that despite the emotions your daughter may go through, it’s a good decision and will be so beneficial in the long run.

                    I just wanted to add support to what Dianna shared about her twins but coming from a later perspective. I struggled all through the elementary years to know what grade to call my son. More than once I flip-flopped him - saying he was the younger grade, then the older one. It doesn’t really matter through all those years when you are doing it at home, but I stressed over it nonetheless.

                    But this year we got to mid high school time and I realized it really does matter at this point. And after asking for a lot of help on the high school forum about college plans, and gauging his reaction to having to plan for college, I realized his level of immaturity was still pretty high. His abilities are there, no doubt, but in so many important ways, he is still just 15. (16 soon). So we decided to drop him back and say he’s just a sophomore this year - which is more appropriate for his age, not his abilities. Once again, you can’t fight nature! Immediately he relaxed and settled into the idea well.

                    And this year, instead of being in full on-ramp to college mode, he’s having time to look at majors, do his own research on schools, think and get used to the idea. I know this is not what you are thinking about in second grade, but the decision to “hold back” can be so hard, but so good for the child who needs it - for a variety of reasons!!!

                    AMDG,
                    Sarah
                    2019-2020 - 9th Year with MP
                    DD, 18, Homeschool grad; Art major/philosophy minor
                    DS, 16
                    DD, 14
                    DD, 12
                    DD, 10
                    DD, 7.5
                    DD, 5.5
                    +DS+
                    DS, 18 months

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Thanks everyone for the encouragement and prayers. We have decided that repeating would be the best choice for our girl. After many email exchanges and rummaging through boxes to determine what I still have and what I need, I put my order together and sent it to MP. They were quick to fill
                      it, Thank You MP! A sweet friend picked it up this afternoon and we are now having Box Day, Take 2!
                      Joyfully, Courtney
                      DS13, DS12, DS10, DD8

                      Comment

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