Gifted children

[Jen (formerly) in Japan]

I've done quite a bit of thinking about this over the years. I was tagged/identified for our school's Gifted and Talented Program when I was young. Spent summers at the VAMPY camps at WKU, took PSAT early and all of that jazz. Ultimately, did that serve me well? It certainly wasn't life changing. <shrug> I met friends, made connections, etc, but it honestly didn't change the course of my life. I've even spent a fair amount of time wondering if I was 'really gifted' or just a high achiever teacher pleaser.

Yep. When I graduated Salutatorian in 1984 (one B+ in all of my high school years) in a class of 600+, I had no idea I was "gifted". It's a new construct for high achieving, teacher pleasing kids. The thing is, if you have One of Those Kids, like my oldest, you begin to see the world of difference between the two. I was plunged into the humility of recognizing that I was never "gifted" at all by comparison. I was smart, true, and public school really hit my sweet spot for my learning style. But, you never would have convinced me of that in 1984.

I've only had my twin boys tested, and it wasn't because I thought they were gifted. We were dealing with learning issues, and I needed to know what we were up against.

You know what? The Navy wouldn't "test" my oldest. They didn't have the facilities at our overseas military base. That said, it was probably one of the best outcomes for both me and him: we didn't have an "expert" telling us constructed results, so we forged ahead on courage and grit.

I think testing CAN be beneficial, but I think you have to look at what your primary purpose for testing is, and be honest with yourself. For me, testing would not be a good thing. I struggle mightily with pride, and if any of my children were identified as gifted, I would, without a doubt, pat myself on the back. "Look what I did!" That's not a good place for me.

YES. I even struggle with the pride of RAISING this kid. Of course, he is pretty amazing.

I think homeschooling is likely one of the very best things you can do, in parenting a gifted child. It works well, for the same reason it works for neurotypical kids or kids with learning issues. You can tailor the learning to their strengths and weaknesses. Picking up math facts in their sleep? Then move through a little more quickly. Whoops, spelling is an issue? Slow things down until it clicks. If a child is cruising through MP, I honestly wouldn't push ahead too far -- I'd just use that extra time to explore interests -- sports, music, field trips, etc.

Again, YES. Matt acknowledges that breaking from B&M school opened up his education in a way that would not have been possible otherwise. IMO homeschooling opens up the avenue for brilliant kids. What I did was to put amazing opportunities in front of my son, then GET OUT OF THE WAY, while always protecting him as my child. I am trying hard not so sound "braggy" about this, but to point backward to possibly my single best strategy: LOVE this kid for who he *is*, not for what I, and my ego, could get from him. I know it sounds intuitive, but having been around the world of giftedness for a long time, it seems that that concept is NOT as intuitive as it sounds. Sadly, over the years, I have noticed that parents get very wrapped up in "proving" their child via testing, grade acceleration, etc. I can't even begin to number the times I've stood mute listening to another parent tell me how "gifted" their child is because of some public school measure of giftedness.

But, as I do know, the truly gifted kids ARE out there. My son's MIT friends were... Other.... just like him.




Jen

[KF2000]

I'll close with this: it was a joy and a terror to homeschool that kid. You'll need very thick skin to do it, since no one will believe you have That Kid. The term "gifted" is so very diluted these days, mostly because of the way public school defines it. If you want to learn more about *actual* giftedness, see Hoagies Gifted Education Page: https://www.hoagiesgifted.org/

Jen

OP,
Both this, and what Dianna had to say about her personal experience, is what I have found to be true as well both as a child growing up, and from raising our children. Having children who seem to excel and for whom you need to provide appropriate levels of challenge is great, and a blessing, but it's also important to determine whether that crosses over into true giftedness. When my sister was getting her master's of ed she happily shared with me what she was learning about the difference between "simply very bright" and "true giftedness" because it brought me down a peg in her mind (yes, we are that competitive) but she was totally and completely right, and I am glad to know of the distinction. If your child is truly gifted, there is good advice here from Bean and Jen. But I would also encourage you that whether or not your child fits that particular category, MP is going to be a great fit.

AMDG,
Sarah

[bean]

Apologies to you and everyone about the unintentional moderation! The primary reason we upgraded our forum was due to an increase in the quantity and severity of spam. The stricter control provided by this version has all but eliminated said spam, but it does flag posts that it thinks were edited too frequently/quickly. We might be able to tone that setting down, but considering the type of content that some of the spammers were attempting to post, we definitely want to make sure they don't make it through with a clean post only to then edit in inappropriate content. Does that make sense?



We have to manually approve each moderated post. Unfortunately, the forum does not automatically notify us when a post has been flagged. We try to check the forum at least once per business day as well as at least once over the weekend, but office craziness does sometimes affect that schedule No legitimate (i.e., non spam) post should ever be deleted though, so if you believe your post was deleted, please reach out to us via a PM or an email. You're welcome to use mine: [email protected].

HTH!

No worries. I will try to find my errors before I post!

[Michael]

No worries. I will try to find my errors before I post!

And if you ever do miss one, we WILL approve the post, it just may take a couple hours