prayer request: pastor troubles

[serendipitous journey]

I am reaching out for prayers because, in a surreal turn of events, my pastor seems to be doing a character assassination of me. It is extremely unexpected and painful. Any prayers for God's grace in this situation, and particularly for wellness and healing for my pastor, would be very much appreciated.

[enbateau]

Praying for you. We just left a church after 11 years. Our pastor was throwing hand grenades from the pulpit against anyone bringing criticism. My father is a pastor, and he was wrongly ousted from his church because they didn't like his politics (40 years ago), so I was very sensitive to our pastor during that time. Finally, after 2 years of watching our multi-thousand member congregation be reduced to 80, I also hit a raw nerve and wound up in a "weaker Christians" sermon the next day. So, I took it to the Lord. The Lord in prayer gave me 3 convictions: pray for your pastor (blessings, honor, truth, success-not conviction he was wrong), pray for the worship director, pray with your husband and submit to his leading in the situation. It was such a godly conviction that I knew it came from the Lord. My husband made the decision to leave 3 months later, and it was painful. Let me offer some unsolicited advice. I know these forums are public, but in your community, I believe it is ungodly to soil the name of the Lord's workers. I had to make a concerted effort to NOT retell why we left to anyone. It was my offense alone, and if by leaving we took away heat from a fire that didn't need to be burning, all the better. There are still tons of people in our former church who love and serve the Lord. I didn't need any of them jumping ship with me or rallying to my side to boost my ego. If it's really an issue of integrity, pray without ceasing and leave if it gets to be too much. But forgive fully before you go, or your bitterness will be as harmful as what you're hurting from right now, and it can destroy God's church.

Praying for you.

[KF2000]

Ana,
I am so sorry to hear of your difficult situation, and I will definitely keep you in my prayers.

AMDG,
Sarah

[serendipitous journey]

enbateau, thank you deeply for your prayers and your wise words. I will also pray for you, your family, and your former and current pastors.

I do want to be careful to stay in love for my pastor, and pray for good things for her, and am grateful for your reminder about this and your conviction that it is good. In our case one trouble is that the public face of the pastor is very different from the private face, and from where I am now I think that several somewhat vulnerable church members may have been harmed by her -- we lost an elderly man who was of more evangelical bent religiously AND a more liberal bent politically; and also a woman with two beautiful children, one of whom has special needs and has had ongoing health concerns; and a woman who had been quite regular but objected to some financial decisions the pastor made. I am only now learning that the pastor has been speaking so poorly about me for months that it may have cost my son his closest friend from church.

In this case, it seems important that the community knows some of what may happen "behind closed doors" to protect others.


So I am trying to stay engaged with the church and address some specific concerns before we leave. Your point about not wanting to split the church is right on, too: the people are wonderful, our church is small, and I have seen other schisms develop. One blessing is that I have the benefit of hindsight and am going to work hard to make sure that, first, I have a relationship with the church that is separate from this issue; and second, that I do not become "against" the pastor but instead support all the good she is doing and represents.

I am seeking my husband's support. Our family is complicated in that I am the only Christian; my husband and sons are agnostic-atheist (that is, they acknowledge they may be wrong about their atheism) and my MIL who lives upstairs is a culturally-Jewish Holocaust survivor. I have come to believe that the Lord either brought this situation about, or is using it for the good, since I have seen many good things come from it. But it makes some things more challenging.

One of our most ironic problems is that my atheist children have a very firm grasp of many Bible stories and themes. This may actually be the heart of our current problem. I had not expected the pastor to be anything but supportive of the children growing in the knowledge of and passion for Biblical truth.

again: profound thanks.

[serendipitous journey]

Ana,
I am so sorry to hear of your difficult situation, and I will definitely keep you in my prayers.

AMDG,
Sarah

Thank you, Sarah. This means so much to me.

[momgineer]

Prayers for peace for everyone in this situation.

[MG_]

Dear Ana,

These verses come to my mind:

" Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake. Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you" - Matthew 5

It is also a very Christ-like character of you to ask for prayers for your pastor. We'll include you and your pastor in our prayers. Hope things clear out soon.

MG

[serendipitous journey]

Debbie & MG, thank you deeply for your encouragement and prayers and your kind words. And for the comforting verses! It can be hard to remember that just having fellow Christians be very upset with one doesn't always mean one is in error. It is hard to stay in a place of seeking the truth & the loving path, and not blaming either oneself or anyone else. Blessings, friends.

[serendipitous journey]

I just want to thank everyone for your prayers. We are pretty much disentangled from the situation, at cost of course to my reputation and the church's sense of solidarity. And my husband is unwilling to even think about future churching for the children and I: he needs a break. So if you can tuck us into your prayers a bit going forward, I'd be grateful.

And, praise to God who is good, I have learned so much; been so humbled; had my eyes opened; and have an understanding of certain Bible teachings that have puzzled me for years. -- I do wish acquiring wisdom hadn't been so painful! and am profoundly grateful for the kindness and fellowship and gentle guidance offered here.